DYLAN BOSCH Funny Status Messages

   I'm a cool dad, that's my thang. I'm hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud, OMG: oh my god, WTF: why the face

   thinks it's Hotter Outside then a Las Vegas Sidewalk on the Fourth of July!.."

   now that were all out of the car, I'm just gonna tell everybody since I have to go to the bathroom now. That when everybody thought that it was a dead skunk on the road,.. that's not what it was."

   wondering why Dora never tells her parents about the fox that keeps stalking her."

   there is so many fun things to do at home that alot of people don't really think about doing but would if they were told about it.. Sitting in Hot tub and playing wii at the same time is one of them."

   OMG, you drink near beer? That's like when my sister circled all the Waldo's in my "Where's Waldo Book?" totally worthless and not enjoyable.

   Scientists they don't know why this is true, but it's true. Women with big rear ends live longer.. Men who tell them that, Don't."

   Oh didnt I tell you? Must have been none of your f*cking business."

   I just realised Chewbacca carries a Purse!"

   I have a cold. it makes my voice sound like a sexy pirate."

   my new excuse for leaving the bar early on a Saturday NIght: "I gotta Preach tomorrow."

   Do you think the Man in the Yellow Hat mentions George on his Internet dating profile?"

   All the Animals are on board and accounted for, Noah, but I've got bad news. The unicorns are gay."

   the condoms I use are so sensitive, they stick around to talk to the chick for an hour after I leave."

   one of you people has stolen my brain, and I want it back raight naow bfoor tinghs dtt ny wurs

   Google and Me, it's like we finish eachother's sentences."

   Trust me.. You DO NOT want to see how a Sausage Fest is Made!"

   So many input boxes. Ever go to search for a girl on facebook and set her name as your status instead? Me either."

   I get really uncomfortable when people ask questions about sex. Like: "Is that it?"

   it's happened: I have developed real emotions for my iPhone. Actually, it's no surprise, because I was raised by a TV and a microwave."