Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 876 of 6383
Congrats Khloe Kardashian! You're father was granted parole!
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07-20-2017 15:55 by Yaj
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Finally, OJ can go after Nicole's murderer.
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07-20-2017 15:51 by JT
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The phrase "The Juice is loose" now has a new connotation.
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07-20-2017 15:22
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I just found something that will put you to sleep, The OJ Simpson hearing
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07-20-2017 14:00
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If you weren't sure whether or not to book a hotel in a Native American community, would that be a reservation reservation reservation?
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07-20-2017 11:43
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I wish people in this world would put as much effort into earning respect as they do demanding it.
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07-20-2017 08:41
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Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
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07-20-2017 00:25
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Some things just don't go together, like drinking and driving or pissing and sneezing!!
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07-19-2017 15:25
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"Wow, that Hungry Man TV dinner sure lives up to its name!" said no hungry man ever.
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07-19-2017 12:57
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Was watching the old Night of the living Dead. I though how awful that would be. All those smoke detectors beeping from low batteries.
It's not easy being orange.
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07-19-2017 11:31
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Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
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07-19-2017 07:21
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Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
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07-19-2017 07:20
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If you think sleeping with your wife’s best friend will piss her off then you obviously haven’t tried hiding one of her shoes.
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07-19-2017 07:19
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I'm going to start a non-profit organization to promote the legalization of marijuana. It will be called the March of Dimebags.
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07-19-2017 07:17
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Earlier this morning, I was invited to join an XXX Facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really really big shirts.
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07-19-2017 07:13
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"Fidget Spinners are so dumb pointless." -The generation that purchased over 5 million Pet Rocks.
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07-19-2017 07:04
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Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.
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07-19-2017 04:48
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Are you auditioning to be a FOX News host, or do you just enjoy being an uninformed, reality-challenged halfwit?
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07-19-2017 01:14
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If you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color, they are 100% a cop.
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07-18-2017 00:22 by Jergim
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