Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 876 of 6446

Where were these 22 year old female teachers back when I was in high school?
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11-17-2017 20:37 by 300
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Breaking news! Colin Kaepernick spotted working at a McDonald’s in Northern California!
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11-17-2017 15:07 by DonRafa
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A report says Fred Flintstone forced a 16-year-old girl into having sex with him and Barney Rubble......
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11-17-2017 14:09
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I liked Meatloaf before he got all soft on us and changed his name to Adele.

Welcome to another episode of Am I Dying or Just Really Tired?
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11-17-2017 09:24
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And I care about Charles Manson going to the hospital because?
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11-17-2017 09:13
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Just finished writing a book for new parents called “You Just Made a Big Mistake.”

I bet you Trump pronounces the country 'Niger' with an extra "g" in the middle.
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11-17-2017 07:32
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People don't want the ugly truth, they would prefer a beautiful lie.
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11-17-2017 06:02
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The far right and the far left are both extremes and should be condemned equally.
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11-17-2017 05:14
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Nothing morally bankrupt about homosexuality, Obama said it was okay.
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11-17-2017 04:48
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Better vote right on all the left stuff and left on all the right stuff every ten minutes. I’m extremely immature.
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11-17-2017 02:30
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If you're constantly stirring the pot, not only should you be required to lick the spoon, but also have that spoon jammed up your butt. Perhaps that's your goal anyways.
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11-17-2017 01:02
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Beer tastes better when you have to work the next day, it’s science
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11-17-2017 00:41
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A man dining in a restaurant asked his server "Do you have frog legs?" The server replied "Yes". The man said, "Then hop into the kitchen and bring me my dinner!"
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11-16-2017 21:16
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The good news for AL Franken is this should make him a contender for President

All these revelations of sexual harassment, groping etc coming out of Hollywood is horrible...but how is Richard Dawson not being mentioned? That dude used to do it right on TV (Family Feud)!
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11-16-2017 13:05
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Just because you're trash doesn't mean you cant do great things...Its called a Garbage Can,Not a Garbage Cannot.

I thought she asked if I was interested in an orgy... Turns out she really said "4G." My apologies to the lady at the Verizon kiosk.
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11-16-2017 02:56 by Fr8Train
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I ordered myself an Eastern European bride online. SO EXCITED. Just received confirmation... My Czech is in the mail
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11-16-2017 02:51 by Fr8Train
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