Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Where were these 22 year old female teachers back when I was in high school?
←Rate | 11-17-2017 20:37 by 300 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking news! Colin Kaepernick spotted working at a McDonald’s in Northern California!
←Rate | 11-17-2017 15:07 by DonRafa Comments (1)  


   messageicon A report says Fred Flintstone forced a 16-year-old girl into having sex with him and Barney Rubble......
←Rate | 11-17-2017 14:09 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I liked Meatloaf before he got all soft on us and changed his name to Adele.
←Rate | 11-17-2017 09:32 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to another episode of Am I Dying or Just Really Tired?
←Rate | 11-17-2017 09:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon And I care about Charles Manson going to the hospital because?
←Rate | 11-17-2017 09:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just finished writing a book for new parents called “You Just Made a Big Mistake.”
←Rate | 11-17-2017 09:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I bet you Trump pronounces the country 'Niger' with an extra "g" in the middle.
←Rate | 11-17-2017 07:32 Comments (2)  


   messageicon People don't want the ugly truth, they would prefer a beautiful lie.
←Rate | 11-17-2017 06:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The far right and the far left are both extremes and should be condemned equally.
←Rate | 11-17-2017 05:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing morally bankrupt about homosexuality, Obama said it was okay.
←Rate | 11-17-2017 04:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Better vote right on all the left stuff and left on all the right stuff every ten minutes. I’m extremely immature.
←Rate | 11-17-2017 02:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're constantly stirring the pot, not only should you be required to lick the spoon, but also have that spoon jammed up your butt. Perhaps that's your goal anyways.
←Rate | 11-17-2017 01:02 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Beer tastes better when you have to work the next day, it’s science
←Rate | 11-17-2017 00:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man dining in a restaurant asked his server "Do you have frog legs?" The server replied "Yes". The man said, "Then hop into the kitchen and bring me my dinner!"
←Rate | 11-16-2017 21:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The good news for AL Franken is this should make him a contender for President
←Rate | 11-16-2017 16:22 by MarkBomchill Comments (0)  


   messageicon All these revelations of sexual harassment, groping etc coming out of Hollywood is horrible...but how is Richard Dawson not being mentioned? That dude used to do it right on TV (Family Feud)!
←Rate | 11-16-2017 13:05 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Just because you're trash doesn't mean you cant do great things...Its called a Garbage Can,Not a Garbage Cannot.
←Rate | 11-16-2017 04:25 by negrodamus Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought she asked if I was interested in an orgy... Turns out she really said "4G." My apologies to the lady at the Verizon kiosk.
←Rate | 11-16-2017 02:56 by Fr8Train Comments (0)  


   messageicon I ordered myself an Eastern European bride online. SO EXCITED. Just received confirmation... My Czech is in the mail
←Rate | 11-16-2017 02:51 by Fr8Train Comments (0)  




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