Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Many women don't know this, but an ugly guy asking you out ISN'T considered sexual harassment. Just saying...
←Rate | 11-29-2017 14:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As long as you yell "DODGEBALL" you're allowed to throw anything at anyone at anytime.
←Rate | 11-29-2017 14:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This quilt would get done a lot faster if the guy behind me would stop beeping his horn
←Rate | 11-29-2017 13:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need Google street view in real-time for better stalking...Sorry I mean bird watching.
←Rate | 11-29-2017 13:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you try to show me your family vacation photos I swear I'm going to report you to HR.
←Rate | 11-29-2017 13:56 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Supporters cheer Roy Moore as he runs naked through a mall, his genitals concealed by various amusingly phallic objects
←Rate | 11-29-2017 13:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dog food is just regular food that you dropped on the floor
←Rate | 11-29-2017 13:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You look like the kind of person who replies to a meme with a meme
←Rate | 11-29-2017 13:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon commercial: get one diamond for your best friend, and one for your true love me: why would my dog want a diamond
←Rate | 11-29-2017 13:38 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I sleep with a gun under my bed, in case someone breaks in and decides to throw clay pigeons into the air.
←Rate | 11-29-2017 13:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am fully prepared to replace Donald Trump with the guy who says dilly dilly in the beer commercials
←Rate | 11-29-2017 13:33 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Teach your children about rejection by getting them a cat
←Rate | 11-29-2017 13:30 Comments (1)  


   messageicon The punisher is like every other Marvel Tv show on Netflix. Could have done everything in 2 episodes but decided to add 8 more unnecessary ones.
←Rate | 11-29-2017 13:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I was right! - I tell my wife about buying the genetically modified turkey as I eat the 5th turkey leg
←Rate | 11-29-2017 12:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon christmas has been cancelled this year due to santa being fired for inappropriate behavior by asking a girl if she had been naughty or nice...
←Rate | 11-29-2017 12:24 by bdog Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't think I can name one unemployed coal miner who has gotten a job in the last 10 months.
←Rate | 11-29-2017 11:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon breaking news... sorry folks, christmas has been cancelled due to santa being fired for asking a girl if she had been naughty or nice...
←Rate | 11-29-2017 10:33 by bdog Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch, its called #LUNCH
←Rate | 11-29-2017 04:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon R. M. Was turned down on his offer to play santa at an all girls middle school.
←Rate | 11-29-2017 00:00 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Some times you have to ask yourself. Is it worth the rug burn. . .
←Rate | 11-28-2017 19:21 by JAB Comments (1)  




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