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If dentist make money from people with bad teeth. Why should we use a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 of them reconmend?
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02-13-2018 16:18 by
Jake
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I would watch the Bachelor if everyone who doesn’t get a rose gets thrown into a volcano
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02-13-2018 13:13
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Valentine's Day coming up. I got chocolate covered Plan B's. HMU
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02-13-2018 12:24 by
Vic
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I always carry a flute with me in case I see deer or rabbits frolicking in a sunny meadow.
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02-13-2018 10:57
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It's safe to assume that more pubes are shaved on February 13th than any other day of the year
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02-13-2018 07:41 by
MDS
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"We be bobsleddin'." The Winter Olympics Bobsled Team
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02-13-2018 07:22 by
PastaFazool
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My main job as a husband is to taste things that my wife thinks smell like they've gone bad and tell her if they taste bad or not.
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02-13-2018 07:05
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Often, when I am reading a good book I stop and thank my teacher. Well, I used to. Until she got that restraining order.
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02-13-2018 06:56
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I don't really WANT to make bad choices; but I'm always late and all the good choices are already taken.
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02-13-2018 06:52
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Can't wait till Feb 15th.........otherwise known as 1/2 price chocolate/Cake day
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02-13-2018 03:14
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I find it very irritating when someone knocks on the door then when you ask who it is they say 'ME' .Like if I knew who it was I wouldn't have asked, Seriously Now!
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02-13-2018 03:13
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Why did the Chicken cross the road? To show Possums it can be done!~
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02-12-2018 22:21 by
Briannnnnnnn
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Most teenagers are treated like children. But are expected to act like adults.
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02-12-2018 20:01 by
Justathought
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I’m building a wall around Facebook and Your all going to pay for it
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02-12-2018 18:07
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Seen a midget carrying a plasma TV to his car and a yelled out, “Hey buddy! Need help carrying that TV?” He shouted, “It’s an iPAD A$$HOLE!”
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02-12-2018 16:18
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You know you've been working too hard when you keep dialing a 9 while making a call from your home phone.
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02-12-2018 14:59
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Everyone is gifted......But not everyone opens their present
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02-12-2018 07:47
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My wife caught me cheating yesterday. Was a stupid and careless mistake. She said she's never going to play Monopoly with me again
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02-12-2018 07:47
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It's hard to focus on a home workout when your home also contains a refrigerator full of delicious food
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02-12-2018 07:46
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A lot of people cry when they chop onions....The trick is to not form an emotional bond
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02-12-2018 07:46
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