Sully Funny Status Messages

   Don't worry guy's, my family could hold off North Korea by ourselves......

   Wow....Thought I was passing a kidney stone, but it was just a jellybean. I'm good.

   Don't worry about the problems in North Korea, besides the destroyer......we've sent the B52's over. They'll surrender once they've listened to Love Shack a few times.

   I'm guessing if we see pink smoke, that will mean the justices has reached a decision?

   St. Patrick Pro Tip: Clean your toilet now!! You may be face down in it later........

   Has the new Pope made a Harlem Shake video yet?

   In honor of new Pope, boys underwear half off at Walmart....

   White smoke is coming out of my neighbor's house. He either elected a new Pope or he's got some good weed.

   FYI - Remember to set your clocks forward an hour this weekend because we can only afford 23 hours a day now due to the sequester......

   Hot dog warmers at Citgo seem to be rolling at half-speed tonight, must be in honor of Chavez?

   Hugo Chavez: First confirmed victim of sequester......

   Sequester Day 1. Sarasota, Florida. Lights still turn on, my shower had hot water, no rioting yet. I'm secure in my bunker. Rations inventoried. Locked & loaded...... God help us

   Being swallowed by a sinkhole is a bad way to start the day. At least he gets to avoid the sequester...

   I am going into my sequester bunker now, someone call me when this nightmare is over! I am terrified......

   If Oscar Pistorius was born without arms instead of born without legs, this whole thing would of never happened...

   Lord, please forgive these gas prices, for they know not what they do to my pockets...

   I think it is high time Obama gets serious on meteorite control.....

   Looking at those meteorite videos from Chelyabinsk. I have learned Russians have very bad radio stations....

   it just me or does it look like the Carnival cruise ship is leaving a skid mark across Mobile Bay?

   I've decided!! I’m giving up my New Years resolutions for Lent....