Steve OH Funny Status Messages

   glad to see today was set aside for all the skanks out there. Happy National Dog Day!!

   Home from a long day so please don't call or text me. Gonna combine my favorite things... Yep, I'll be Napping Off.

   Phrases i'll never understand... #71 - "You better hunker down if you want to finish on time." Seriously? Hunker Down???

   Phrases i'll never understand... #72 - "Those two are in cahoots." WTH is cahoots and why does it take two???

   shhhh.. i'm waiting behind the door. gonna blindside monday with a swift kick in nuggets.

   My 80 year young mother in law and I are fighting over who's gonna drive to the strip club..... priceless

   FYI - Double check whats in the cup on the nightstand before waking up and taking a big drink.... Nothing like watered down crown and coke first thing in the morning...

   Okay Canadians you win... When you convert Fahrenheit to Celsius, it's only 46.6 here in the states.

   Farmers complaining about the drought. Why not just buy corn at the store??..... idiots

   Practicing my "Eye Rolling" cause you know... tomorrow's Monday.

   My liver works harder for two days than I do all week...

   WTF.... (welcome to facebook)

   Hung like Einstein smart as a horse... Thanks dad.

   Just witnessed my dog catch fire while "draggin' ass" on our dead lawn.

   I wish we could "Hand Pick" who gets knocked off line on Monday!!!

   Finally met the new neighbor. An uncanny resemblance to Satan!! Maybe that's why it's been so hot...

   Remember... Sometimes you have to sacrifice the fat kid to save yourselves.

   Just because you LIKED my awesome status does not mean I have to LIKE the picture of your food...

   I don't care what time it is!!! Grilling without a BEER is like going to church and not PRAYING.

   Did you ever notice all the people in casino commercials are young, attractive and not in need of oxygen?