MIchael Funny Status Messages

   One of the guys who works for me down south called in sick early this morning. He sounded like death! I ask, “How sick are you?” and he said, “I just got done doing my sister, is that sick enough for you?”

   Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.

   Hey mylife, I can promise you, 28 people are NOT searching for me! Quit lying!

   Going to hang out at Wal-Mart for a bit so I can feel better about myself.

   The first testicular guard “Cup” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. We have our priorities…

   it considered cheating if you have to kiss your boss' ass?

   Took a nap today... Fell asleep watching golf and woke up and softball was on. That might explain the dream with the lesbians.

   Just figured out how to stop the oil spill! Put a wedding ring on it and it will never put out again.

   if there is one flaw in women, it is this...they forget there worth and how remarkable they truly are!

   wondering how many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

   lost his teddy bear... Will you sleep with me?

   one beer short of a six pack