Eddy Funny Status Messages

   will Hurricane Matthew be followed by hurricanes Mark, Luke & John?

   the USPS should make stamps of Donald Trump just so everyone can say "I have a 'Trump Stamp' "

   I think an eye doctor should run for president in 2020 with the slogan "a perfect vision"

   i find it odd that there's never a yelp review for the yelp website

   where's the CTRL, ALT and DELETE buttons on life?

   Am I the only person wondering why Bernie Sanders never joined the military to someday be a colonel?

   the "check engine" light came on. I checked & the car definitely has one. It makes loud noises & drips some stuff all over the place so I know it's there

   just like the calendar says, I "SAT" around all day today

   am I the only person watching Fuller House waiting for Bob Saget to tell the daughters how he met their mother?

   I find it ironic that Valentines Day is abbreviated as VD

   I didn't see a friend's day video of Ross, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, & Chandler

   my new years resolution is 800 x 600

   to anyone who spoils the movie, you'll feel my Han...Solo

   always a man drinking a Crush on a Monday.....never a man crush Monday

   my science teacher said living things are made up of cells so why don't we call our lovers our "cell mates"?

   HALLOWEEN PRO TIP.... put on your costume then over top of it do the classic ghost blanket costume....go trick-or-treating as a ghost then take the blanket off & go a 2nd round as the other costume you wore underneath....double candy

   2020 will be like any other election...Kanye will vote for Kanye

   I'm keeping up with the Kardashians ..... my dad I s gone too

   aac Newton had an apple before they were cool

   pro tip: go to men's warehouse. try on a suit. take a selfie. say the suit isnt what you want & give it back. you just got a free picture of you looking good in a nice suit.