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;) A mistress is someone between a mister and a mattress
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04-13-2018 02:13
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I did 5 squats today so if you catch me looking a little thick tomorrow don't be alarmed
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04-12-2018 14:41
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When a double agent goes rogue. At long last looks like Trump has turned on his Russian handlers.
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04-12-2018 14:37
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"I'd love to be your widow, someday" - me flirting
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04-12-2018 13:39
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wife [with me in a headlock] Stop saying “Dilly dilly”
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04-12-2018 13:23
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Maybe I should have just gotten in the van.
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04-12-2018 08:25
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Allow me to explain myself via a new communication method I like to call "Interpretive Napping"
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04-12-2018 07:06
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Having a search warrant is not a break in .
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04-12-2018 02:27
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MASA - Make America Smart Again
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04-12-2018 02:14
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I’m tired of not having any plans to cancel.
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04-12-2018 02:12
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I wish people who say 'thanks, but no thanks' would make up their mind on where they stand on gratitude.
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04-12-2018 00:28
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I stand by the unlikely threat I made when I thought you couldn’t hear me.
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04-12-2018 00:17
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Relationship status: Maybe it’s time I learn to crochet
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04-12-2018 00:15
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Some days parenting's like The Sound of Music but with less singing and more hiding from the Nazis.
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04-12-2018 00:14
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I'll never forget the thrill of that first kiss or the night I decided to keep someone else's Tupperware.
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04-12-2018 00:11
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The way Fox news channel distorts the news they should change their name to FAUX NEWS :)
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04-11-2018 23:46
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i thought mark zukerberg was supposed to look like justin timberlake?
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04-11-2018 16:09
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I want my obituary to read: "She laid down the boogie and played that funky music till she died."
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04-11-2018 15:41 by
ZumbaDi
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Daddy, when will our GP waiting time go down, now all the foreign doctors have gone home?
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04-11-2018 14:16
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If your post only says "I can't even" then I'm assuming the rest of it was meant to say "finish a complete sentence!"
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04-11-2018 13:09
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