Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 788 of 6383
I will never have abs. Because I love eating keb abs
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01-15-2018 08:31
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People say, if life throws you lemons, throw them back, make lemonade or squirt them in your eyes so that the problems become last of your worries. But them smart asses never said what to do if life kicks you in the balls. Yeah!, there's no recovery from
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01-15-2018 08:23
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Ghetto Winnie the Pooh would probably say, “Tigger please.”
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01-14-2018 22:50
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I was driving down the road this morning and swerved to avoid a banana peel. See mom me playing Mario Kart in my room all day when I was younger paid off.
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01-14-2018 20:55 by Crewz
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I changed my passwords to incorrect, so when I forget it tells me. Your password is incorrect. . .
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01-14-2018 18:29 by JAB
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Look, all I am saying is that you never see The Predator and Whoopi Goldberg in the same room at the same time.
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01-14-2018 17:47
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My last exam was a bigger failure than FOX's show, Son of Zorn.
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01-14-2018 17:18
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I wouldnt want to live in the s**thole even if it was called Hati
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01-14-2018 16:59
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If only tru mp called them sh1t$shows, then no one would be mad.
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01-14-2018 16:49
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Any single women looking to sexually abuse a grown man, asking for a friend. . .
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01-14-2018 12:31 by JAB
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Please don’t suggest a product to me that’s not available at Walmart.
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01-14-2018 06:12
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I’m sorry my dog nipped your ankles, but in all fairness you do have squirrels on your socks.
Q: How do you play the ISIS bingo? A: B-52...F-16...B-1...
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01-13-2018 22:47 by XX-FOXY
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I took my wife to the dog show and she won.
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01-13-2018 19:38
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Maybe someone should tell Bowflex we don't want our living room smelling like a gym.
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01-13-2018 17:29
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"One day, I hope to travel to Botswana to gonto school and become a success sonmy children will have it easier than I did" siad no one, ever.
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01-13-2018 17:28
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Women drivers be like Did I just run over someone?
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01-13-2018 14:26
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Look son, you march right back in there and take that Batman costume off. I'm the Batman of the family and YOU KNOW IT!
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01-13-2018 13:17
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You learn something new every day. Countries that have 90% poverty and you cant drink the water are paradise, instead of the $h1tholes we though they are.
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01-13-2018 12:18
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Norwey is one of the richest countries per Capita in the World! Why would they want to come to your s**thole country, USA?
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01-13-2018 12:11
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