Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 768 of 6383
Another Playboy model has come out, saying she had an affair with Trump, 2 years into his marriage with Melania. Trump, you horny old goat, you!
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02-16-2018 12:12
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18 school shootings since Jan. 1st...by the same generation that eats laundry detergent...and you wanna say we have a gun problem.
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02-16-2018 11:12 by Mas
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21) For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here’s a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?
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02-16-2018 09:02
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If men Honestly answered facebook question ; What's on your mind? Facebook would turn into a pornsite
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02-16-2018 04:42
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In ancient greece, throwing an apple at a woman , was considered a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL.......Still it is on.......Throw an Apple iPhone 8 & she will definitely say YES
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02-16-2018 04:42
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Facebook needs to make a "Slap you in the face with a dictionary" button
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02-16-2018 04:41
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جمعية البراري, translation “l f@&k goats”
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02-16-2018 03:50
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Once the authorities say the shooter suffers from mental issues, then you automatically know its code for he is a white male.
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02-16-2018 03:22
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Money may not buy happiness. But it take the sting out of being miserable.
Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you're up to. :)
Apple is looking to expand its market share among Latinos. No word yet on the release date of their newest device, the iCaramba.
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02-15-2018 20:14 by Crewz
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Hey Trump, if you want to tax something, tax luxury cars, rolex's diamonds, etc. Regular people can't afford another gas tax.
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02-15-2018 14:34
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What's this? A building is on fire? Not to worry. I'll stop the fire with my thoughts and prayers.
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02-15-2018 12:00
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Pro-tip: sadness is for people who are awake or sober.
Countries should not send athletes to the Olympics as a reward, but should send stupid people as a punishment. Your annoying coworker? Ski jumping. Natural selection as its best
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02-15-2018 11:34
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Back when I was in high school, we didn't have guns to shoot people. We used our fists!
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02-15-2018 10:56
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OK. Who is the genius who decided to call it Box Wine and not Cardboardeaux?
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02-15-2018 08:32
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I admit women are hard to figure out. Like, why do they tilt their head in pictures ?
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02-15-2018 07:51
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Shout out to all the motel maids changing the sheets and the plumbers unclogging the hair filled drains this morning.
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02-15-2018 07:36
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The difference between the company I work for and a cactus plant is that the plant has pricks on the OUTSIDE.
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02-15-2018 04:44 by Crewz
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