Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
749
750
751
752
753
754
755
756
6446
Next»
Page: 753 of 6446
" You know your life sucks when you have to have three jobs just to keep up to being poor."
3
1
←Rate |
07-05-2018 23:26
Comments (
0
)
I have more trust in a link from a bot account than I do in Michael Cohen.
5
10
←Rate |
07-05-2018 21:57
Comments (
0
)
Boycott Walmart: I’m starting to think that Make America Great Again is not cut out for capitalism.
8
16
←Rate |
07-05-2018 21:55
Comments (
0
)
Fun Fact: You could buy 420,000 tampons for the same amount of taxpayer funds Rep. Blake Farenthold used to settle a sexual harassment lawsuit.
12
3
←Rate |
07-05-2018 21:53
Comments (
0
)
The only way to make sense of Scott Pruitt’s time at the EPA is if he opens a U.S. taxpayer-funded used mattress store in Moscow.
7
9
←Rate |
07-05-2018 21:52
Comments (
0
)
Scott Pruitt has quit as head of the EPA to pursue his true passion - buying lotions and used mattresses from various hotels.
5
8
←Rate |
07-05-2018 21:50
Comments (
0
)
Now that Scott Pruitt is gone, I fully expect the new E.P.A. Chief to eventually admit that manmade global warming is real and then quickly attribute it to gay marriage.
8
18
←Rate |
07-05-2018 21:49
Comments (
0
)
James Woods' agent dropped him, but Scott Baio's agent has already found him a role as a Sandwich Artist at Subway.
4
7
←Rate |
07-05-2018 21:48
Comments (
0
)
When preparing cereal, why not throw on some limes’s and pickles for that rich fruit and pickely flavor burst.
1
7
←Rate |
07-05-2018 13:01
Comments (
0
)
Kind of ironic that a basketball team from Oakland, CA would have GSW on their jerseys..
5
4
←Rate |
07-05-2018 12:48
Comments (
0
)
Calm her down. Women love to be calmed down.
15
3
←Rate |
07-05-2018 10:40
Comments (
0
)
My friend's dog is tough. I interrogated him for over an hour and he still wouldn't tell me who's a good boy.
10
2
←Rate |
07-05-2018 07:58
Comments (
0
)
I like that you hate me a little. It shows respect.
6
1
←Rate |
07-05-2018 02:33
Comments (
0
)
Alexa, what the hell are these Asian ladies saying about me in this nail salon?
19
3
←Rate |
07-05-2018 02:29
Comments (
0
)
Everyone's a submissive if you squeeze their throat hard enough.
7
4
←Rate |
07-05-2018 02:21
Comments (
0
)
I ONLY beg in the bedroom.
3
3
←Rate |
07-05-2018 02:17
Comments (
0
)
I’m not a sore loser, thanks to Vicodin.
10
2
←Rate |
07-05-2018 02:16
Comments (
0
)
Always plan ahead...... It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
7
4
←Rate |
07-05-2018 01:55 by
Jake
Comments (
0
)
I don't need Google...... My wife knows everything.
5
3
←Rate |
07-05-2018 01:53 by
Jake
Comments (
0
)
Careful! That's my only VHS copy of "The Money Pit".
2
1
←Rate |
07-05-2018 01:51
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
749
750
751
752
753
754
755
756
6446
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com