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I want my tombstone to read; "I don't know where ya’ll gonna get your laughs now"
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03-25-2018 06:54
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A Pop Tart is really just a dessert Hot Pocket...
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03-24-2018 23:24
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Fun Fact: The 2nd amendment is why we have the other 26 amendments
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03-24-2018 16:03 by
Hillbilly
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A sheep spends it's entire life fearing the wolf only to be eaten by the Shepherd.
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03-24-2018 13:47
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Looks like the first amendment is more powerful than the second.
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03-24-2018 12:50
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I guess I’ll take my Christmas tree down today.
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03-24-2018 12:41
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I don't get women. My wife said she bought this lingerie for me, but then got boiling angry when I put it on.
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03-24-2018 12:38
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Dancing in the 70's: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
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03-24-2018 12:31
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I just downloaded the McDonald's app to my phone because I can't stand waiting for my food for 2 whole minutes
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03-24-2018 12:28
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Maybe I should start setting my alarm for 11:00 PM because that is the sound that makes me go to sleep
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03-24-2018 12:24
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Yeah ok a bug hit your windshield but did you ever think how this story is told among his family?
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03-24-2018 12:06
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The next gen iPhone has new Pay By View so you just look at what you want and pay, and sorry but I just bought your car.
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03-24-2018 12:01
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This Frito-Lay truck has a sign on back saying DRIVER CARRIES NO CASH and joke's on them. I am not interested in cash.
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03-24-2018 11:59
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We have a dog so my husband just installed an invisible fence ... I think
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03-24-2018 11:57
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Really close to my perfect target weight. All I need now is one more stomach flu
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03-24-2018 10:34
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If you find a snake skin somewhere, it means the snake shed it to grow bigger. Same principle if you find candy wrappers in my trash
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03-24-2018 10:31
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Sleep more securely with a knife under your pillow in case someone breaks in the house with cake
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03-24-2018 09:41
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Some people are training as complainers like it is a competitive sport
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03-24-2018 09:40
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It's a good idea to test your immune system from time to time by eating a gas station hot dog
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03-24-2018 09:37
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As a country we should let our children lead us into the future. Mine just made a pop-tart sandwich.
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03-24-2018 09:35
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