Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 742 of 6383
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
←Rate |
03-27-2018 14:45
Comments (1)
Hello customer service, I ate two happy meals and I’m still not happy
←Rate |
03-27-2018 14:41
Comments (0)
Horse racing is like NASCAR only slower and with poop.
←Rate |
03-27-2018 10:37
Comments (0)
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
←Rate |
03-27-2018 09:11
Comments (0)
Mom: clean up ur room! We're having guests over for dinner. Boy: sorry, I didn't realize we were having dinner in my room
←Rate |
03-27-2018 09:11
Comments (0)
Why do famous people get things for free if they’re the ones that can afford it?
←Rate |
03-27-2018 09:10
Comments (0)
I believe snakes would hate humans a lot less if they knew the world's first mobile game is dedicated to them
←Rate |
03-27-2018 09:10
Comments (0)
Joke's on you, fanny pack thief. That was my decoy fanny pack.
←Rate |
03-27-2018 08:14
Comments (0)
Ultimately, I have no hard feelings, wherever my missing socks go, I hope they find happiness
←Rate |
03-26-2018 14:59
Comments (0)
Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
←Rate |
03-26-2018 14:55
Comments (0)
Me & my dog lay together for hours a day. Eventually he gets up and goes to lay somewhere else. It hurts my feelings every single time.
←Rate |
03-26-2018 14:51
Comments (0)
Yesterday evening on 60 Minutes was the first time for a lot of men that they didn’t have to verify that they were over the age of 18 before they seen Stormy Daniels.
←Rate |
03-26-2018 07:16 by Crewz
Comments (1)
None of us really knows anything about Stormy Daniels other than her first pet's name was Stormy & she grew up on Daniels street.
←Rate |
03-26-2018 02:04 by Jergim
Comments (1)
I really loved that Stormy Daniels interview on 60 minutes. Best 60 minute of my life!
←Rate |
03-25-2018 22:20
Comments (3)
I'm looking for a woman who'll love me for my money but is really bad at math
←Rate |
03-25-2018 19:16
Comments (1)
I got so high ,I had to turn down the TV because I couldn't taste my Macaroni and Cheese .
←Rate |
03-25-2018 18:27
Comments (0)
Ohhhh you’re an alpha male on the Internet. Here. Have a cookie.
←Rate |
03-25-2018 07:26
Comments (1)
They should make supermarket camouflage so people you know won't see you and want to talk to you.
←Rate |
03-25-2018 07:23
Comments (0)
This is my salad fork. That's my dinner fork. This is my lasagna shovel.
←Rate |
03-25-2018 07:21
Comments (0)
Anyone who says you added too much cheese is an undercover cop.