@OMFG_Rel8able Funny Status Messages

   I won't be impressed with technology until I can download money ;)

   It wasn't my fault I got drunk!!! I was thirsty ;) x

   I refuse to go bungee jumping...I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I'm not leaving because of one!!

   Don't be unhappy if your dreams never come true -- just be thankful your nightmares don't.

   getting ready to give her sheets some ass & her pillow some head ...good night everybody

   I want to slowly go down on you and tease you. Then rise up and fxck you hard. Sincerely, Gas Prices

   Gas prices = robbery without a gun!

   Just another day in paradise, minus the paradise...

   FINALS: May cause sleep deprivation, loss of friends and fun, neglect of family, excessive crying and hair loss and burning eyes. Is the semester over yet???

   Be good to yourself because the longest relationship you will ever have in life is with yourself.

   Everyone has a 'vodka incident'

   If you are what you eat, then are cannibals the only true humas??? O_O

   ❒ In A Relationship ❒ Single ❒ Messing Around ❒ Getting Cheated On ❒ F**k Relationships ✔I'm Just Hungry!

   I DO WHAT I WANT! WHEN I WANT! WHERE I WANT!...... if Mom says its ok...

   If we're in a car and I love the song on the radio and you turn it down to tell me something, please know that I now hate you

   I like turtles because they're so chill- They're just like: "Hey man, I want to swim, & maybe eat some lettuce. But I'm gonna take my time.

   One thing that will always remain true: There is no cool way to run with a backpack

   Life is full of fake people. Before you decide to judge them, make sure you're not one of them. ♥

   They'll hate you if you're pretty. They'll hate you if you're not. They'll hate you for what you lack and they'll hate you for what you got.

   Mr. Krabs needs to get a DNA test on Pearl.