life Funny Status Messages

   If you’re afraid to live your life, then you have already died.

   I need to get my life together but I’m kind of waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort into it.

   In 2018, 33 researchers published their theory that octopuses didn’t originate on earth and are actually alien life forms.

   If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

   Being sarcastic on a regular basis can add up to three years to your life.

   Life is too short to die a coward.

   Male bees die right after mating. So, their whole life is… Honey, Nut, Cheerio.

   Life is not a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

   Life Hack: If you can’t afford a psychologist, just get a haircut instead.

   Now that the statues are down, tell us how your life has improved. Take your time, I’ll wait.

   Current life status – By the time I figure out what nostril is plugged, it jumps to the other side.

   Life is soup, I am fork.

   When we were young, we were given the impression that strangers would offer us drugs much more often than has happened in real life.

   You learn nothing from life if you think that you’re right all the time.

   I will never drive a Jeep because you have to wave at other Jeep owners and I don't need that kind of pressure in my life.

   Transitions Adaptive Lenses: “Experience life well lit.” Me: Oh, I will.

   Right or wrong, make a choice. Life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t decide.

   If you watch my life backwards, I’m a weight watchers success story.

   The next person to walk out of my life I’m going with them. I’m sick of my crap too.

   Life is fork, I am soup