Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
640
641
642
643
644
645
646
647
6446
Next»
Page: 644 of 6446
Now IKEA is closing its plant and moving to Europe. So much winning....
8
32
←Rate |
07-16-2019 20:48
Comments (
1
)
I feel as lonely and unwanted as the zucchini in the break room
3
5
←Rate |
07-16-2019 17:43
Comments (
0
)
If they would raid a job fair like area 51 ..nahhh that will not happen.
21
6
←Rate |
07-16-2019 11:36
Comments (
0
)
There's a very fine line between "I'm not doing anything ight now except looking at Facebook" and "I'm not doing anything right now because I'm looking at my Facebook"
3
2
←Rate |
07-16-2019 10:32
Comments (
0
)
This Summer, live a little and drop an unwrapped Baby Ruth candy bar in someone’s swimming pool.
6
6
←Rate |
07-16-2019 08:18
Comments (
0
)
first we need a "space force" then later on, there isn't alien activity at area 51
3
10
←Rate |
07-16-2019 08:06 by
Eddy
Comments (
0
)
Antifa .. same party, same tactics, different hood
24
14
←Rate |
07-15-2019 23:42
Comments (
0
)
All gave some. Some gave all. One had bone spurs.
35
22
←Rate |
07-15-2019 15:09
Comments (
0
)
Space aliens are taking our jobs. This is why we need to ransack Area 51.
7
2
←Rate |
07-15-2019 12:07
Comments (
0
)
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain.
12
4
←Rate |
07-15-2019 06:29
Comments (
0
)
Before writing "Thanks but maybe next time!" I should make sure those Facebook invides aren't for a wedding.
6
2
←Rate |
07-14-2019 14:42
Comments (
0
)
No, Grandma; you can’t pull a Basic Instinct for extra potatoes at the retirement home.
5
3
←Rate |
07-14-2019 10:03
Comments (
0
)
1. Lemon 2. Ice 3. Me Things my wife doesn't want in cider
6
7
←Rate |
07-14-2019 06:21
Comments (
0
)
Epstein likes his women like he likes his scotch. 12 years old with coke.
22
3
←Rate |
07-13-2019 23:07
Comments (
0
)
I don’t like the term “dad bod”. I prefer “father figure”
18
2
←Rate |
07-12-2019 22:18 by
PosterBoy
Comments (
0
)
The weather is 95 and hazy .. kind of like Bernie Sanders.
26
13
←Rate |
07-12-2019 16:58
Comments (
0
)
Netflix: Are you still watching? Me: [snoring] Netflix: [takes last piece of birthday cake from fridge]
6
3
←Rate |
07-12-2019 14:36
Comments (
0
)
Sorry for writing "Everyone makes mistakes" in your wedding guestbook.
19
3
←Rate |
07-12-2019 14:35
Comments (
0
)
Restaurant toilets are so dangerous. So many of my dates have gone there and never some back.
15
2
←Rate |
07-12-2019 09:11
Comments (
0
)
20 years ago the Internet was an escape from the real world. Now the real world is in escape from the Internet
6
3
←Rate |
07-11-2019 20:48 by
ForeheadSlap
Comments (
1
)
«Prev
«1
640
641
642
643
644
645
646
647
6446
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com