Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   bored of thinking of funny things to write in status and isn't going to bother this time

   swearing to drunk that he is not god...

   depressed because you walked in the room. Where's my happy pills

   "life is just like Mario brothers, you have to slay a few dragons to get to the princess"

   glad he crashed the wedding.

   missing the way things were...where the F is that time machine?

   living on the magic island of awesome

   never fully dressed without a smile!

   how Stella got her groove back

   in fact the real slim shady

   waiting for Santa to smack me and say ho ho ho

   "not drunk, hes just exhausted from being up all night drinking"

   still that same great taste just fewer calories

   eating out..at home. ;)

   profound as a pronoun that verbs today.

   perfecting secretly sleeping at my desk.

   wondering if they make psycho repellent?!

   colorblind and trying to solve a rubiks cube... this could take a while

   chillin out maxin' relaxin all cool.

   easier to get into than a community college!