Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6020 of 6374
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your so vain you probably think this status is about you.
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04-10-2010 12:05
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off to see the wizard......apparently the brain he gave her doesnt work!!!
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04-10-2010 10:55
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had many people walk into her life and made it great. She has had many people walk out of her life and made it f*cking fantastic!!!
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04-10-2010 10:27
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considering buying a GPS for Mr. Sand Man, he seems to be lost and hasn't made it to her house the last three nights!!!
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04-10-2010 10:26
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NASCAR Driver Education: "Turn left. Turn left. Turn left. Turn left. Repeat."
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got to heavens gate and god sent me back.....the good die young, I aint eligible for that
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dyslexic with tourettes..bucking fastard..cupid stunt.. oh hole ass
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04-10-2010 09:00
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Has a date with Mr. Hangover today, she wishes her friends would just let her be single and stop trying to play matchmaker!!!!
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04-10-2010 08:43
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Beer is good for what ales you.
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04-10-2010 02:52 by Pineapple
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It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize you are in a hurry.
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04-10-2010 02:19
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Dear Waldo: Bite me. Go find yourself.
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04-10-2010 01:17
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America is only the land of the free for people who have lots of money.
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Pass the parcel would work better if there is no prize that way one kid is disappointed but everyone else is happy
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thinks life is like a rubix cube. Some people have the patience to solve it and the others just cheat to see how others do it
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I hate it when I run out of Staples. And so do their security guards.
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Due to an "incident",my Mafia family is entering into a Witness Protection program in a Farmville,a few accounts away.
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Every piece of chocolate I ever ate is getting back at me..desserts are very revengeful..they make sure you land up in the gymjail and weep!
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04-09-2010 18:23
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- I got stopped by a woman in the street today.... She said, "Excuse me, sir, have you had an accident in the last three years that wasn't your fault?" I said, "Yes, she's nearly 2 now."........
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04-09-2010 17:36 by Y.P
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Just in, Angelina Jolie is gonna adopt another child she just came back from SARAJEVO BOSNIA she got a new son MUJO JOLIE PITT.
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04-09-2010 17:08
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persuade the Canadians to take back Justin Bieber like they have already taken our gold medal.
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04-09-2010 16:32 by Mr.CuteB
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