equaloppjoker Funny Status Messages

   It gives me collywobbles to admit this but most of what I post is purely flibbertigibbet. It's not that I think you to be a gobemouche, i'm just a pettifogger and a slangwanger. I'm not a snollygoster, I just love to bloviate. Thanks for understanding!

   Jesus paid for your sins. Make sure he gets his moneys worth!

   My boss asked me today which one of us was the stupid one. I told him everyone knows that you dont hire stupid people.

   I wish Taylor Swift would write a song called "Maybe I'm the Problem"

   Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people!

   I shot an Elephant in my pajamas.... How he got in my pajamas i'll never know.

   Childbirth...So easy even a woman can do it!

   I will not sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia.

   Just made a dentist appt to have my eyes checked. I can't hear a thing.

   Your dirtier than my browsers history!

   People make me itch!

   I don't like morning people...or mornings...or people.

   You're exceeding the limits of my medication. Please go away.

   If you were dying of thirst in the desert, I wouldn't let you drink my urine.

   I love spending money as much as my government does.

   I could eat a bowl of Alphabet soup and poop out a better arguement!

   it's ok if you disagree with me, I can't force you to be right.

   Stop undressing me with your eyes...use your teeth

   I have seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission.

   I think it's sick joke that companies are selling calendars for 2013. Anything to make a buck.