XX-FOXY Funny Status Messages

   What Woodstock 1969 tought us is that life isn`t about waiting for the storm to pass, it`s about learning to dance in the rain...

   Some women should realize that they've lost the moon while trying to count the stars…

   If you don`t like something, change it. If you can`t change it, change your attitude. Don`t complain...

   Friend: "Your phone`s ringing." Me: "Yeah, phones do that..."

   Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

   I wonder if aliens ask each other. Do you believe in HUMANS?!

   Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now & then...

   I'm not lazy. I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.

   Nobody's life is perfect, but life itself does have perfect moments….

   Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving...

   A beautiful girl is a beautiful girl, but a beautiful girl with a brain & smarts is a weapon of mass destruction...

   There are two things a man can never hide: 1. When he`s drunk, and 2. and when he's in love...

   Stress makes you very tired, but it`s stressful to avoid stress, so you end up stressed out anyway,

   Every girl needs a good guy to help her laugh when she thinks she`ll never smile again.

   "Are you athletic?" .. "Yeah I surf.....the internet"

   Friend tellin me " Bro I wasn`t that drunk…." Me: “Dude you destroyed my gf's garden at 4:00AM while shouting and screaming "F**k Farmville!"

   Mom: What does “WTF” stand for? Child: "Well That`s Fantastic!"