MigasJoe Funny Status Messages

   The Texas Rangers are half way to becoming the Buffalo Bills of the MLB

   I'm gonna go all Kazoo solo and Haiku Freestyle on the next person that says I'm not Gangsta!!!

   a wife is somebody who won't tell you what to do but will get mad when you don't do what she wanted you to do

   all those extreme couponers across together need to band together and propose a budget plan to the president

   just took an inventory of my body and it seems to be overstocked in all the wrong places

   I wear knit hats because its cold outside, you wear knit hats because of Coldplay

   Putting a pretty shirt over your muffin top does not make you a cupcake

   check my math here...but isn't the square root of 69, eight sumthin

   before the letters FDNY became a fashion statement on hats, it was worn on the back of brave dudes with mustaches, NEVER FORGET

   at least the Notre Dame crowd Evacuated Like A Champion Yesterday

   attention Hot Women of Vegas...if you insist on wearing skinny, hot women clothes while visiting, please make sure you are, in fact, a skiiny, hot girl!!!

   long distance works is something High School Seniors made up to get laid before they go to college

   At a time like this I wonder...What would Jimmy Buffett do???

   if ignorance is bliss then there are a sh#t load of people in paradise

   pandora just gave me a Hanson song and it wasn't even Mmmbop...Shamful!!!

   in a land of chimpanzees I was a monkey

   takes wine in a box to a whole different level

   hates it when I post something here that I read on someone elses facebook page only to find out that they read this stuff too!!!

   why don't they just make service contracts that expire the day before you need them

   i see dead people...but only when squinting