Jeremycakes Funny Status Messages

   here to remind you to help control the golfer population. Have your tiger spayed or neutered.

   If you see a animal stuck in a trap, free them. If you see a child crying, comfort them. If you see the Jersey Shore cast crossing the street, HIT THE GAS!

   I woke up this morning and turned on the tv. This tv evangelist was on and he said"you may not know this, but already you have SINNED." I said what could I have done? I just woke up.I'm not even out of bed. I turned and asked my sister and she didn't know

   using a lightsaber to chop vegitables.

   in the words of the chef on the muppet show - "Orshky Borshky Chicken!"

   I'm not good in relationships.My last relationship ended when I didn't open the car door for her. Instead I just swam up to the surface.

   The diamond company "Debeers" has had some pretty interesting slogans. One year it was "Diamonds, will take her breath away.", last year it was "Diamonds will render her speechless.". I think this year it should be, "Diamonds, that'll shut her up."

   I'll always remember the last words my dad said to me before he passed away. "What are you doing with that gun?"

   I used to live in a pineapple under the sea. But I lost it in a forclosure. Now some yellow guy lives there.