Abraham lincoln Funny Status Messages

   A Blonde was asked what her password was and she said ''MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento''....When asked why such a long password she replied ''Well Hello! It has 8 characters and at least one Capital!!''

   It's all fun and games til you lose your wifi..........ok, wife!

   Never take a Chess enthusiast to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths!......It'll take them an hour to pass the salt!!!

   I didn't post this status somebody else made it happen!!!

   Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end!!!

   Chick-fil-a has been taking alot of heat for it's stance against Same Sex Marriage! To show they are progreesing with trhe times,they I'll be releasing a new food item today. The ''Chick on Chick'' Sandwich!

   Whenever I buy a box of condoms I always look the cashier in the eyes and say ''Where's your fitting room?!''

   ''If all Men are created equal, where's the rest of your Pen!s?!!!

   Looks like Jerry Sandusky is still screwing kids(players) at Penn State even after he's gone!

   It is a scientific fact that the gravatational pull of a woman's cleavage on a man's eyes is too strong to be fought!!!

   A paper boy said to a customer ''Mr Smith, I wish I had 20 customers like you!'' ''Wow thats ice to hear considering I never tip and always pay late.'' said Smith The paper boy said ''I know, that's why I'd like 20 customers like you, I have 150 right now

   Everyone seems Normal until you get to know them!!!

   Avoid arguements about the toilet seat.........use the sink!!!

   It's amazing how little information I need on someone before I decide I don't like them!!!

   If I stop my car for you to walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knee's to chest b!tch , knee's to chest!!!

   I'm not saying you're ugly! I'm just saying you're a 12 pack away from being why type!!!

   I think it is so impolite for people to sneak up on you while you are talking about them behind their back!!!

   I wsh mirrors, pictures, and what I think I look like would get together and agree on what I really look like!!!

   Marriage.........when dating goes way too far!

   You know you're a Lo$er if your mom wants you to help set-up things for your twins Surprise Birthday Party!!!