ANONYMOUS Funny Status Messages

   showing his colleagues your profile and they're all laughing at your picture.

   forgot to stop the Q-tip when their was resistence

   would be high on Life, but she doesn't want to snort the milk.

   making a sex tape and shooting up heroin with Miley Cyrus

   wondering if the I.R.S. will noticed she claimed A.I.G. and Obama's mother-in-law as dependents!

   angry,she caught Chlamydia from a bicycle seat

   not allowed to use metaphors anymore. It's like an applesauce sandwich trying to teabag a Yeti. Know what I mean?

   over white knights on horses... Bring on the vampire in the volvo!!!

   thinks it's pretty stupid that he can't remove his name from the status box here. I mean what kind of guy speaks of himself in third-person anyway? For real...

   n. 1: An intelligent individual. 2: One who writes dictionary definitions of himself in an effort to look intelligent.

   can't help but notice that fettucini alfredo is just fancy adult speak for macaroni and cheese.

   wants you to read this status. Keep reading it... There, now I have full control over your mind. Now give me a hot dog!

   asks, "What do you get when you cross ketchup with wasabi? WASSUP!"

   not on speaking terms with his liver

   Gone on a vacation with Satan

   available in HD.....highly demented!!!!!

   Never Ever Ever Play leap Frog with A Unicorn

   ( . )Y( . )

   will be giving a live performance today...shower curtain goes up at 5 exactly so be there.

   trying to convince the parents she is a responsible adult. So far it isn't an easy ride.