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The only time a classic old VW doesn’t leak is when it has run out of oil.
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10-19-2019 13:52
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If youre going to give your kid a name like hes an 80s action hero, then make sure he goes outside every once and a while. Cause "Maverick" looks like the only exercise he gets it walking to the fridge and back to the Playstation.
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10-18-2019 18:02
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Donald Trump to Queen Elizabeth: "You did a great job on Bohemian Rhapsody! Great song."
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10-18-2019 16:32
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my favorite posts on fb are the people who apologize for not having be on in a while and nobody cares that they're back
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10-18-2019 06:56
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Maybe Millennials aren't having children because we lived through the nightmare of raising Tamagotchis. :/
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10-18-2019 06:56
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Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same
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10-18-2019 06:54
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Friend zoned your wife again
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10-17-2019 23:08 by
DocNoland
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It’s normal for married couples to fight. The trick is for you and your spouse to find a couple you can easily beat up.
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10-17-2019 17:04
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White House admits quid pro quo. This is getting a lot interesting now.
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10-17-2019 16:54
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All I need is to hear those 3 special words “Want a sandwich?”
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10-17-2019 05:54
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“Sorry for the late response” is my email signature
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10-17-2019 05:53
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I don't see any clouds today so where is your data really stored?
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10-17-2019 05:53
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Fun fact: Bruce Lee does not drink water. Instead, he drinks WATAA!
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10-17-2019 05:39
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A sculptor built a 5280 foot statue of Mick Jagger for his 50th birthday. That's a huge mile Stone.
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10-17-2019 05:37
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The last time I went to see my uncle in hospital the nurse was rubbing vaseline on his back He went down hill very quickly afterwards
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10-17-2019 05:37
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Broke up with my gingerbread girlfriend. She was nice, but she got too kneady.
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10-17-2019 05:36
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Not only is it dangerous you'll look like a complete idiot if you text and drive, as that's how typos happen.
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10-17-2019 02:05
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Co-worker: What's the difference between astronomy & astrology? Me: Approximately 50-60 IQ points.
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10-16-2019 18:07
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"I'm really good in bed" -Ice cream
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10-16-2019 18:06
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So, we tip the pizza delivery guy, but not ambulance drivers.
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10-16-2019 18:04
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