Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5788 of 6446

business must be getting better. I noticed on my last check the government gave itself a raise.
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08-05-2010 11:29
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A good way to save face is to keep the lower half shut.
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08-05-2010 11:26
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They found the gene that causes shyness. They would have found it sooner, but it was hiding behind some other genes.
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08-05-2010 11:25
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I'm not opposed to gay marriage.... I saw two women kissing in public the other day and I thought “man, that takes balls!”
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08-05-2010 11:24
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ok...who watches Jeremy Kyle to make themselves feel better about thier own screwed up life?
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08-05-2010 11:06
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I do like Sally Jessy Raphael but she REALLY does look like a Jim Henson puppet!
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08-05-2010 11:02
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my company is upgrading from Outlook 2003 to Outlook 2007, in 2010, which I fear will rip a hole in the space-time continuum.
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08-05-2010 11:01 by CS
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if you can keep your head when all around you are losing thiers...you probably haven't realised what's going on...
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08-05-2010 11:00
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we KNOW you like your status....why would you of written it if you didn't?
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08-05-2010 10:53
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To all my Facebook Friends.....If you are over 20 years old and know the name to a Justin Bieber OR a Lady Gaga song, PLEASE Delete me as a friend....I don't think I wanna be friends with you!!!

*spins around on chair* Hi! I've been expecting you!
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08-05-2010 09:57 by loose
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a true smarta$$ and can be quite b*tchy at times too - but it's my natural defense against stupidity!
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08-05-2010 08:43
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If I sat down for 10 seconds with a pad and pen, I could totally write a song for Yo Gabba Gabba!
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08-05-2010 07:44 by Leeferd
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I keep losing at solitary Hangman - must be the sadist in me
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08-05-2010 06:47
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Scientist have discovered an area on Mars that might have once contained life. Alien scientist have made the same discovery about the Gulf of Mexico.
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08-05-2010 00:41
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checking the obituaries for any cool job openings
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08-05-2010 00:41
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Yankee's A-Rod just tapped his 600th. 14000 shy of Wilt Chamberlin.
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08-05-2010 00:32
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I believe in ghosts. I believe in aliens. But theres no way you will ever persuade me into believing in alien ghosts. Ridiculous.
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08-05-2010 00:10
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I'm going to start naming my word documents "The Earth" so when I'm done, my pc will ask me if I want to save "the earth or not
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08-04-2010 23:52
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They laughed at Louis Armstrong when he said he was going to go to the moon. Now he's up there, laughing at them.
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08-04-2010 23:50 by nsk
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