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Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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I'm not sure what I like most about Woman's U.S. Open Tennis.... watching them play or... listening to them play :)
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09-06-2010 16:52 by
Bill
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Women say looks don't matter and all they want is a guy who is smart and funny. But all they end up doing is laughing at whatever the stupid good looking guy says.
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09-06-2010 15:51 by
whitecube387
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They should really outlaw cursive handwriting nowadays. Especially for the ones who can't spell.
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09-06-2010 15:41 by
Danmanz
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The jungle is only fun when you are on top of the food chain
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09-06-2010 15:21 by
Tracy
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Mirror.. Mirror.. on the wall, out of all my Facebook friends who is the fairest of them all?
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09-06-2010 13:19 by
p3psi
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i spend so much time on FB I might get married to someone on my friend list and host a FB wedding lol and Invite all my friend to the Fan Page lmao
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09-06-2010 13:10
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Dear Monday, nothing against you but I'm glad you almost over. Please ease traffic for me. Sincerely, THE TAILGATER.
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09-06-2010 13:09 by
@Katrachita85
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This fish smells familiar. I just can't put my finger on it.
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09-06-2010 12:51
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relationship status will changed from "married" to " It's complicated " about once a month.. I love my wife....
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09-06-2010 12:18 by
rll
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We celebrate Labor Day by not working. Which is kind of like celebrating Arbor Day by paving the backyard.
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09-06-2010 12:16 by
Aaron
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I Don't Care what anybody says, Nothing says I Love you more like standing in line for you're girl to buy tampax pearl."
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09-06-2010 12:04 by
Dylan Bosch
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I just got in a car accident while reading a sign telling me to keep my eyes on the road.
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09-06-2010 11:30
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A watched pot never boils. But an unwatched pot boils dry and burns. Is there a happy medium?
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09-06-2010 11:29 by
MBH
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The best don't-drink-and-drive message ever would be if the Budweiser blimp crashed into the Goodyear blimp during a game.
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09-06-2010 11:27 by
MBH
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Hey!!! It's a "pedestrian crosswalk" you douche, not a "leap in front of my car like a freaking maniac walk!"
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09-06-2010 11:26
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OMG, you just lied and your pants really are on fire.
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09-06-2010 11:25
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Should I pick you up for breakfast? or just roll over and kiss you good morning?
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09-06-2010 10:38
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wonders what the guy who found out what milk was, was doing to the cow.
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09-06-2010 10:27
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wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac
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09-06-2010 08:45
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thinking they need to rename 'Dancing with the Stars' to 'Dancing with the National Enquirer.'
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09-06-2010 08:40 by
markf
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