Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5460 of 6374
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If you can't beat 'em cheat 'em -Harry Ried
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Sarah Palin for President in 2012......The real end of the world.
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11-03-2010 15:18
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I spend so much time on Facebook that I forgot the internet has porn.
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11-03-2010 15:02
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Tea Party = Undercover White Supremacy
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So let me get this right, I cant legally smoke marajuana, yet I can go to my local gun store and buy a Semi Automatic Machine Gun, a couple of grenades and all the ammo I want? Now who's the one that's been smoking something here?
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Stubbing your toe is only a light switch away.
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11-03-2010 14:28
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If you watch Scarface backwards, it's about a man who gives up cocaine and crime to follow his dream of becoming a dishwasher to earn enough money so he can visit Cuba.
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11-03-2010 14:07 by Kobrah
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will most likely go through yet another hump day without doing what the name implies. :-(
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11-03-2010 13:04
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You know your mind is already on the weekend when someone at work tells you they're giving away shots, and you assume alcohol before flu.
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11-03-2010 11:32
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I woke up this morning and you were gone, then I thought... oh wait, it wasn't you.... never mind.
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all he's done in 2 yrs is take fancy trips and vacations on our dime!!
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11-03-2010 10:38
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Everybody poops, but not everyone washes their hands........ I'm just Saying.
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11-03-2010 09:50
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After the morning news...decided I didnt need to play R.E.M (It's the end of the world, as we know it ) every morning, like I have since November 2008.....Bahahahahaha
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11-03-2010 09:28 by fromama
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was very excited until my wife informed me that is NOT why they call it Hump Day. Sure, honey. And I suppose that Cinco de Mayo has nothing to do with mayonnaise?
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11-03-2010 08:32
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- Little boy writes to Santa: Please send me a sister. Santa writes to little boy: Ok, send me your mother.
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11-03-2010 06:39 by trickz100
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- I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket"
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11-03-2010 06:38 by trickz100
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- If Adam and Eve would have been Chinese, they would have simply eaten the snake and left the apple alone!
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11-03-2010 06:37 by trickz100
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I eat the green crayon cuz the green one tastes the best!
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I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
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11-02-2010 23:54
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i just came back from a mile long walk in your shoes, and I still think youre a douchebag...
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11-02-2010 23:22
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