Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5460 of 6447

When you ask a person in a strange town for directions why do they say 'I haven't got a clue'? Don't they understand that you want directions instead of clues?
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11-26-2010 09:22 by Luka
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Why do people look up when they think?
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11-26-2010 09:21 by Luka
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Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?
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11-26-2010 09:11 by Luka
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We usually dislike people who cheat, lie, or rip us off. So why do we knowingly vote for them to manage our country?
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11-26-2010 09:08 by Luka
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n't the problem with political jokes the fact that they keep getting re-elected? (
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11-26-2010 09:07 by Luka
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X says Karma is like 69.....you get what you give....:)
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11-26-2010 07:10 by Granted7
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Saying over the store microphone "Attention all shoppers, we're having an 85% off toy sale in the tire and lube area" sure opens the check out lines fast.
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11-26-2010 06:50
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Women never hate men enough to give us our diamonds back.
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11-26-2010 06:37 by Royal
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Black Friday is America's version of Running with the Bulls!
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11-26-2010 05:19 by Jeff W
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"The best revenge is a life well-lived" is so true, but it doesn't provide the instant gratification I seek.

I can always tell how much I really like a girl by how long it takes me to delete her text messages.
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11-26-2010 05:04
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The text message is the new greeting card, but without any hope that there will be money inside.

Proposed her indirectly,but she rejected directly!!!!
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11-26-2010 04:41 by Prakyath
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Where were all the Kwanzaa ads for Black Friday?
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11-26-2010 04:15
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Everybody that asks me to go shopping today gets a big "HELL NO!"
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11-26-2010 03:51
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They say that 40 is the new 30 - try telling that to a speed camera!
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11-26-2010 03:23 by @clarkysj
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Black Friday? That's ones of those Ice Cube movies right?
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11-25-2010 22:29
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now that you spent all your money on Black Friday Now what?
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11-25-2010 22:29
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Il take a bullet for you! But not in the head, like in the leg or something

"Hello, pain. I realize we have business, you and I, but don't get comfortable, because you're not staying."