Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   UMMM maybe we should of had stronger border restrictions

   All professional sports are cancelled, and we aren't supposed to touch ourselves. Men who don't play video games are gonna have a lot of time to kill this weekend.

   I'd rather be quarantined with my family than with the finest people in the world.

   Why is it that the people who say "You don't need 500 rounds of ammunition" are the same people who are buying 500 rolls of toilet paper?

   Went to CVS to pick up a prescription and the receipt gave me enough toilet paper for a week. #Winning_Covid-19

   Coronavirus is cancelling everything but my bills

   I like my Covid viruses like I like my women...19 and spreads easily.

   Norwegian Cruises are offering buy 1 week get 2 free. Use promo code "CORONA"

   Going in like Rambo. No sanitizing wipes and I'm headed into wally world....

   My computer jsut asked me to check my virus protection, which one ?

   Trump: A Brazilian has coronavirus Pelosi and Schumer: A Brazilian oh my God how many people is that????

   Hey Bernie and Joe don’t need advice from two old guys wearing Depends. We need TP....

   Stocked up on the Merlot and chocolate. Bring the 3 week corona quarantine!

   I got the bread and mi....I mean toilet paper and handy wipes!

   So, no baseball, hockey or basketball. What's next? No cornhole?

   The World Health Organization came out today and said that dogs are immune from the COVID-19 virus, and that any dogs that have been placed in quarantine can be released. So to be clear....WHO let the dogs out.

   I'd like to put out an Amber alert for common sense...

   eerie parallel ... in Cast Away, Tom Hanks was stranded on a distant island with only Wilson to keep him company ... now, Tom Hanks in is quarantine on a distant island with only Wilson to keep him company.

   Before the Coronavirus I'd cough to cover a fart. Now I fart to cover a cough.

   The only time I ever heard of panic buying was when the bartender yelled, LAST CALL