bryan j brown Funny Status Messages

   I once could hear everything but your cries..but now I cant hear anything but your silence....

   You know ur up too early when someone tells you "Good morning" and all you can do is think "if this mo fo says one more thing to me I'm gonna stab them in the neck with a pencil".....

   Doin the same thing I do every night...Try to take over the world!

   If I died wouldnt it be weird if you still got random status updates from me?? "I can see the light"...."This line to see Jesus is long"...."I wonder if someone will let me front skip them"...."Oh snap heaven is doin pat-downs"

   Sometimes when I'm bored I take red and blue M&Ms and walk up to random people...And try too convince them that one of them will get'em out the Matrix.....

   Not sure why my bill collector keep trippin and askin for their money...I mean as long as I owe yall money you will alwayz have a job...Hell you should be callin to thank me cuz I'm your job security....

   I gots to say nothing turns me on more then looking at some of these pics on facebook of these chicks flippin the bird....I mean its so dang sexy...Its the kinda pic you can show your grandkids and tell them thats how you fell for their grandma..

   Im not tryin to start no controversy but wouldn't some pizza combos and a cream soda hit the spot right now?

   I read that the first vibrator was created to cure women who had hysteria....So I guess they created the first vacuum hose to cure men high blood pressure...

   Those peeps out there are actin crazy..I had to hit someone over the head wit a frozen turkey...But that old lady had it comin cuz that will be the last time she runs over my foot wit her wheelchair....

   You know Ive never understood those 1-900 numbers...It seems strange to me to pay to hear a woman's crazy talk on the phone for hours...Im gonna come up with my own 1-900 number where you pay a woman to just be quite for awhile...

   A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush...heheheehe...I said bush:)

   Dont send me no questions to my inbox...Cuz I aint answering them...I aint yo Magic 8-ball...

   HEY EVERYBODY ON FACEBOOK!! MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION!!....i'm so humble..ok..that is all...

   Mary Poppins did a great job getting kids to take there meds...Cause a spoon full of sugar really does help the medicine go down... Its just too bad all the kids she watched got Type 2 diabetes now...

   You know I think its real messed up that clubs have "Ladies Night" where a bunch of them can go and drink free for a while and dance...But they dont have a "Guys Night" where dudes can do the same...??Oh wait??..That sounds kinda gay...NEVERMIND