John Y Funny Status Messages

   No its not "cute", its actually quite slutty looking, and yes I love it!

   I guess Monica Lewinsky is trying to sell herself as some sort of crusader against cyber bullying. I'm glad she found a new calling, she blew her chances at a political career!

   We're taught from a young age that we need to work hard to achieve success, riches, or fame in life. Then we grow up to see sh****gs like Snooki, the Situation and the Kardashians. You know... People who have never done anything!

   Was that "wadup yo" directed at me? Euah. Okay, well, I think that was a yes... No brah, you may not "axe" me a question. I don't speak hood. Now pull up your pants! How are idiots like this in college? Friggen STUPID!

   Kim Kardashian was attacked at the Paris Fashion Show! It is still unknown which NFL player assaulted her, but Roger Goodell vows to educate these exceedingly uneducated players. Mainly because this just puts the bi+ch back in the spotlight.

   Joan Rivers may have been too old to be an organ donor, but be on the lookout for some fresh new faces on your local mannequins.

   There comes a point in everybody's life when they feel forgotten by someone they'll never forget.

   The guy that named the Pterodactyl could have learned a lot from the guy that named the Fly.

   Oh yeah I almost forgot, I truly couldn't care any less that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt got married. She's just another example of rich white trash.

   Reason #258 I hate people... Kim Kardashian’s mobile game is making $29,166 per hour. That's right, she's making more than a lot of Americans are per second. Just for being some kind of high class pass around slut for rappers! Come and get it Kanye...

   I can think of absolutely no acceptable situation where a grown man should be taking a selfie, especially a bathroom mirror selfie... Seriously stop it, you're embarrassing yourself!

   Whenever I see a piece of gum in a urinal it makes me cringe. I just can't imagine the pain that caused on the way out! And also how does it not come out like silly string?

   Leonardo DiCaprio cheering Orlando Bloom on as he was trying to punch Justin Bieber in the face is reason enough for me to like two of the three people named here.

   Justin Bieber aka "Douche Nizzel" says Miranda Kerr made him a man... I didn't know she was able to perform such a specialized operation on such a fragile looking little girl. Man do I hate "celebrities"!

   I’m not really into the idea of letting a set of made up ancient rules dictate my life. Hell I'm not real keen modern laws telling me what I can and cannot do!

   Here's a little pro tip for ya, it doesn't have to be your birthday to buy a birthday cake. They'll just sell it to you no questions asked.

   I wanna go to Africa to see where rappers come from.

   If the catholic church looks down on sex before marriage does that mean all of those priests committed two sins?

   Nothing sums up the proud Mexican spirit on their Independence Day like drunk college girls in sombreros screaming for more Patron!

   If you had a sad or lonely childhood you're gonna be REALLY depressed by Bank of America's options for a security question. Unless you remember the name of you're imaginary friend or pet rock.