ANGELA Funny Status Messages

   Man can believe the impossible, but can never believe the improbable

   Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same

   I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth

   cigarettes are just like ferrets, perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and set it on fire...

   Dear Winter, I am breaking up with you. It's not me, it's you, you make me miserable. I think it's time I start seeing other seasons.

   just finished her first book!!! man, that was alot of coloring!!

   I like my women like I like my coffee...tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through the Andes behind a donkey.

   'I like my men like I like my coffee... ground up and in the freezer.'

   You can't spell "culture" without "cult".

   How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a pinky monkey named Spunky ran into the forest and chucked all the wood before the woodchuck could?

   Don't run from a sniper. You'll only die tired.

   going to church does not make you religious anymore than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger

   Who told you, you were special? The lady driving that little bus?

   Tonight I'm leaving my sobriety at home, along with my indoor voice and any behavior that can be mistaken as 'ladylike'.

   Got a problem? iI got a problem solver……and his name is revolver.

   Don't follow my footsteps I run into walls!

   Pessimism is great, You are either always right or pleasently suprised.

   Your intelligence is my common sense.

   Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years. …

   If the batteries in our T.V remote are dead … Why do we keep pushing the button until our fingers hurt ?