love Funny Status Messages

   Roses are lame, love is fake, weddings are basically funerals with cake.

   Travel and tell no one. Live a true love story and tell no one. Live happily and tell no one. People ruin beautiful things.

   Brain: Don’t press send! Heart: But, we’re in love. Brain: We only met her yesterday!

   Love when the washing machine gets to the angry part, let it out girl.

   Ladies, love your man like them bi!ches in your head do.

   In France you don’t say “I miss you.” You say, “Tu me manques,” which means “you are missing from me.” I love that.

   Tell your friends you love them. Tell them a lot. Make it weird.

   There is sex without love, and there is love without sex. Then there is you, without both.

   I Love octopus. cooked right they are very tasty, Tried to cook one the other night and took me 5 hours. The sucker kept turning off the gas.

   People say "love' is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is a lot better.

   When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.

   Expecting truth from corporate media is like expecting love from a prostitute. That’s not why they exist.

   Until my orange messiah says he doesn't like Putin anymore, me and my people will continue to love him and his actions.

   If two people love each other nothing is impossible. Except deciding where to eat.

   God does love gays, but only if they are tops.

   If I share my food with you, its either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don't want it...

   Figured out why woman love serial killer documentaries so much. They’re about men who are dedicated, they have a plan, and are full of surprises.

   I always wondered what it was that he wouldn't do for love, and now we know: he wouldn't get vaccinated.

   Amy Schneider looks like the love child of Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble.

   I can hear those folks stuck on that snowed-in, 55 mile stretch of I-95 in northern Virginia: "But we love the seasons!"