Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   The Mrs is visiting her mother this weekend, so the dog and I are smoking cigars and playing poker. In our underware!!!!!

   Me: I need to ask you a serious question. GF: OK! First, let me get my mother, sister, BFF and college roommate on speakerphone!! Me: OK, why does a wool sweater shrink when you wash it but sheep don't shrink when it rains??

   Happy Mother's Day to my sister for having my kids......some Trump supporter maybe....

   there a deadbeat son-in-law of all bombs somewhere complaining about his mother-in-law of all bombs?

   I just dropped a MOABM .. mother of all bowel movements

   OKAY honey don't freak out someone broke into the house, ate all the ice cream, smashed that picture of your mother, and didn't do the dishes.

   If you think Mike Pence referring to his wife as mother is disturbing, just wait until you hear what Trump calls Ivanka behind closed doors.

   Hey Mr. President. Mother Nature called. She wants her protection back.

   Donald Trump's approval rating has dropped to 37%. Norman Bates scored higher with his mother.

   Should men care about women's rights? Before you answer, remember four important women in your life. Sister...Wife...Daughter...Mother...

   In light of recent news regarding 'A day without a woman' men everywhere a grateful just to have peace & quiet from a nagging mother-in-law

   We had joy we had fun, specially in your mother's cun....

   Named my daughter after my mother in law. In fact, Passive Aggressive Psycho turns 5 tomorrow

   Here's a story,of a LOVELY lady
 who was bringing up three very LOVELY girls
all of them had hair of gold, like their mother.
the youngest one in curls. RIP CAROL BRADY

   If this rotting pumpkin of a man said or did any of this to your wife, mother, daughter you'd do all you could to stop him, right? #Vote

   A couple kisses and gropes in public and nobody bats an eye but let a mother breastfeed in public and all hell breaks loose. How did we get to this as a society?

   .... Hillary reminded me of my condescending Mother in-law and Trump reminded me of my Grumpy Uncle

   Donald Trump Jr should not make fun of Skittles and Syrian refugees -- his mother is an immigrant and his father is an orange Skittle.

   Mother Teresa has been canonized. She's no longer Catholic fan fiction.

   Pope declares Mother Teresa a saint. Kanye West sues the Catholic Church for copyright infringement.