Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   All gas station bathrooms are required by law to look like the set of one of the “Saw” movies.

   Volkswagen should bring back the Beetle as an electric car. They can call it the Lightning Bug.

   Thanksgiving: Being thankful for what you have and those you love. Black Friday: Trampling those you love to save 15% on something you don't have. Cyber Monday: "Hey, babe. Sorry I killed your dad Friday. Here's an iTunes gift card to ease the pain

   Don't buy plastic skeletons for Halloween. It's terrible for the environment. Locally sourced all natural skeletons are more environmentally friendly.

   In honour of Thanksgiving remember to steal stuff and claim it as yours! I stole this post!

   Restaurant word

   Cafe word

   dimanna18 word

   dimanna word

   A latte

   Chapel of Anticipation elden ring

   Elden ring

   Ikai horror game

   Lochore meadows

   Everybody's a little bit crazy... It's just that some of us aren't afraid to take it out for a walk in public.

   Hey guys, if you don't tell your woman she's beautiful, a Pakistani on Facebook will.

   If you unfriend me and then later decide to send me another friend request, there will be a $29.99 reconnection fee.

   I told the bank manager that I wanted to open a joint account. He asked who with? I said, "The customer with the most money".

   I renamed my toilet Jim instead of John.. people are really impressed when I tell them I go to the Jim several times a day

   My boss asked me to write down two things I liked about my job. Apparently lunch time and quitting time are not the right answers.