Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Relationships don't need promises, terms, and conditions. It just needs two wonderful people; one who can trust and one who can understand. 
ill make everyone in the world a bet... if we die tomorrow I'll give you a doller, if we live you have to give me a doller. good? okay.
If the world ends tomorrow. I feel like it was somehow Sarah Palin's fault.
That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to “single” and your ex 'Likes' it.
Saturdays forcast: doomy with chance of rapture..
Maybe now is a good time to change my religious views to very religious, just in case.
Who wants to help me fill blow-up dolls with helium and release them tomorrow?
attending the Rapture Day on May 21, 2011
bought a adult size Superman costume, So when the rapture comes he can fly in style!
I can't say "rural" and its really frustrating
I wanna buy dolphins and dress 'em in suits so that I can tell my accountant I bought 'em for business porpoises... and we would laugh and laugh.
I am actually looking forward to the rapture....To all the women who told me "I wouldn't sleep with you unless you were the last man on earth" Look out ladies here I come!
Zombies don't discriminate against the old or young, both are considered equally tasty.
would be very surprised if some of my friends were missing tomorrow
Apparently Facebook will not accept "Macho Man" as my middle name... DISLIKE!
Perhaps tomorrow's Rapture really is going to happen. I just heard Oprah's last guest is going to be God
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have a few things I need to confess: I let the dogs out, I stole the cookies from the cookie jar, I hacked play station, I was on Navy Seal Team 6 and YES I did cause global warming.
last night, I laid in bed, looking up at the stars, and thought to myself, "where the hell is my roof?"
The police are looking for someone sexy, funny, and great in bed. Now your ugly a** is safe but do you have anywhere I can hide?
planning on driving around to random churches Saturday night and leaving piles of clothes so that some people will believe they have been left behind on Sunday morning. You in? 