Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Where there is a google, there is an answer!
←Rate | 06-08-2011 17:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would jump in front of train for you ♥ as long as its not moving :D
←Rate | 06-08-2011 17:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be happy in front of people who don't like you, it kills them
←Rate | 06-08-2011 17:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the universe wanted me to be thin, food wouldn't taste so good
←Rate | 06-08-2011 17:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know.... I have gotten some really great bathroom decorating tips from Facebook.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 16:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 16:33 by @Torren_T Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Weiner's next press conference should be in a Brett Favre jersey....
←Rate | 06-08-2011 15:30 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Best of luck to Ja Rule today as he enters Ja il.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 15:03 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet it takes a female kangaroo forever to find anything in her pouch.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 14:58 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon ... and then confuse people into thinking it's the rest of your previous status update when it isn't.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 14:54 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon would like a minute of your time dear friends...I'm collecting them in order to create an extra hour for me to sleep!
←Rate | 06-08-2011 14:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If life gave Lady Gaga lemons, she'd probably make an outfit out of them.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 14:08 by Surge Yarmolyuk Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you get if you cross pms with gps?.... A Bit-h that can find you!
←Rate | 06-08-2011 14:02 by mcsgadgets Comments (0)  


   messageicon God please give me the power to walk away when another god wants to take your place!
←Rate | 06-08-2011 13:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you let people judge you, then how would you know what is your greatest limit?
←Rate | 06-08-2011 13:37 by @spunky_design Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't look so great today, but my simple hello with a smile made someone else feel really great.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 13:33 by @spunky_design Comments (0)  


   messageicon A hello to those that may think you are crazy is only a wake-up call to those living on the other side.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 13:32 by @spunky_design Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sales of Lady Gaga's newest CD have dropped 85% in the second week. As people have started actually listening to it.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 13:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you bring the Taco Bell 12 pack of tacos to the party. You won't be finding yourself invited to a lot of parties.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 13:18 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I hear you say: "We need to work together." What I hear is you saying" "I'm not smart enough to complete this task."
←Rate | 06-08-2011 13:17 by flinnie Comments (0)  




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