Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4823 of 6382
didnt find her way to the top of the food chain, only to get taken out by a cucumber!!!!
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06-06-2011 09:24 by Stacky
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What king od socks do Pirate wear?......AAAARRRGYLE
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06-06-2011 08:48 by Banjaxed
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I'm so hot I stalk myself.
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06-06-2011 08:17 by aaandm84
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my son just said he just blew the ship up..."Daddy that is S..H..I..P.. not the bad word Ok"?
Write the name of someone you hate on your body every day in permanent marker, so no matter how you die they'll become a suspect.
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06-06-2011 05:37
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Play any of the Terminator or Conan video games nowadays and amazingly the 'cheat codes' will be already be turned on.
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06-06-2011 01:08 by Danmanz
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They need to make some people's mouth like a cell phone plan. When their Mouth Minutes run out, they shut up for the rest of the month....until they pay to talk to you.
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06-06-2011 00:58 by Danmanz
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Pride Weekend? You know that you have hit it big when you get a song for a whole weekend. Way to go U2
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06-06-2011 00:20
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How are you going to sue Axe? Wether it attracts women or mosquitos, They are both blood-suckers :)
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06-05-2011 23:38 by J_Dubz
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8) A crowded elevator smells completely different to short people.
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06-05-2011 23:29
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You should like yourself because that is the only person you have to spend the rest of your life with.
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06-05-2011 22:52 by BEGO
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Creaking floorboards have been known to ruin the plans of thousands of teenagers.
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06-05-2011 22:50 by BEGO
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Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things. Sincerely, 7.
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06-05-2011 22:49 by BEGO
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Talk used to be cheap...then someone invented cell phones.
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06-05-2011 22:47 by BEGO
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Maybe your ex didn't take you for granted, but they sure took you for everything else.
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06-05-2011 22:44 by BEGO
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Once upon a time, GIRLS used to cook like their mothers,but now they drink like their damn Fathers...!!!
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06-05-2011 22:43 by BEGO
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I'm gonna sue Axe because instead of attracting girls, I'm attracting damn mosquitos!
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06-05-2011 22:25 by JimJR89
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Watching this NBA game makes me miss the great Larry Bird days, now its all showboating and apparently there is an "I" in team.
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06-05-2011 21:46 by smeebert
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If you could be sold for what you think you're worth, we could all retire!
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06-05-2011 21:40 by McKibben
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next time you go to a restaurant and ask for a Coke, and they say "is Pepsi OK?", you should reply "is Monopoly money OK?"
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06-05-2011 21:39 by McKibben
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