Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Who needs soap operas, talk shows, reality tv, newspapers, and books when there is facebook
←Rate | 08-21-2011 19:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If she drinks apple juice she is too young for you bro
←Rate | 08-21-2011 18:09 by 706 Comments (0)  


   messageicon even the sweetest memories have a bitter taste
←Rate | 08-21-2011 17:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes my LOL just means, Lack-Of-Laughter
←Rate | 08-21-2011 16:50 by Me Comments (0)  


   messageicon two young boys are lying in a snow bank outside of church with their pants down. when asked what they were doing they said "father likes a couple cold ones before mass begins"
←Rate | 08-21-2011 16:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon when the truth is gone.. the relationship is over.
←Rate | 08-21-2011 16:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since I don't know how to draw I decided to be an artist
←Rate | 08-21-2011 15:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who's that sexy beast…………..oh I clicked on my own profile again!!
←Rate | 08-21-2011 13:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like my wife how I like my girlfriend....horny and home every other day.
←Rate | 08-21-2011 13:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Summer is the season when a man thinks he can cook better on an outdoor grill than his wife can on an indoor stove
←Rate | 08-21-2011 13:18 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon This damn Mcdonald's never has a fully stocked condiment counter. This is the last straw!
←Rate | 08-21-2011 13:08 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever notice how that toothpaste falls so easily off your brush, but you can't wash it down the drain if you wanted to....
←Rate | 08-21-2011 13:01 by Rick H. Comments (0)  


   messageicon So sad... Please put this on your status if you know or are related to someone who suffers from stupidity. People need to understand that stupidity is real and should be taken seriously. You could be sitting next to a stupid person right now.
←Rate | 08-21-2011 12:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my daughters convinced me to take in a stray cat they found. in retrospect, I really should be clearer and more specific with my wishing!
←Rate | 08-21-2011 12:42 by Mobe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why don't you cram some of that make up down your throat so you can be pretty on the inside>?
←Rate | 08-21-2011 12:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like my women like how I like my dogs. Loyal, color-blind, and my best friend.
←Rate | 08-21-2011 11:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem with trying to avoid a problem by “playing stupid” is that far too often, you wind up looking like you won. .
←Rate | 08-21-2011 11:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like my women like I like my cheese. White American singles.
←Rate | 08-21-2011 11:10 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you watch the looting videos in reverse, they are really generous people
←Rate | 08-21-2011 10:55 by No Body Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you stalk a regular 16 year-old girl and take photos of her, you'll be arrested. But if she's famous, you'll be hired as a Paparazzi.
←Rate | 08-21-2011 10:34 Comments (0)  




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