Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4623 of 6446

I walk into the 7/11, and the female clerk says, "You look JUST like my fourth husband!" I said, "Really...you've been married four times?' She goes, "No. Three."
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08-29-2011 05:02 by MTQ
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Have you ever thought about the fact that Mr. Krabs lives in Bikini Bottom?
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08-29-2011 04:18 by James
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So Lady Gaga, goes to the VMA's as alter ego Jo Calderon. I guess the thought of her being a Denny's menu item was not manly enough...!
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08-29-2011 03:33
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Disappointed that Lady Gaga did not show up this year at the VMA's, I was really looking forward to my Grand Slam.
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08-29-2011 02:57
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Maybe Beyonce should have put a NuvaRing on it.
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08-29-2011 02:10
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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08-29-2011 02:09
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When I'm drunk, my phone should say "are you sure you want to send this text?"
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08-29-2011 02:03
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heard Chaz Bono insisted he be paired with a female partner on "Dancing With The Stars" so ABC immediately went out and got Richard Simmons!

Lil Wayne will not be upstaged by the Carter/Knowles clan tonight. When he brings Drake out to announce Drakes pregnant by him.
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08-29-2011 01:51
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So i'm heading down to the ballgame with my 2 buddies, and some guy says to me: "are they going too". I replied: "No, there just coming to sit in the car while I watch the game"... Why do people stupidly state the obvious?
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08-29-2011 01:44
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You keep me humble, you catch my stumble and you never let me crumble!
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08-29-2011 01:42
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congratulations on your 100th problem jay-z!
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08-29-2011 01:37
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Lady Gaga came as a man ... Nicki Minaj came as GaGa & Jay-Z Came inside Beyoncé.... *LIKE* this if you agree LMAO.... :D
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08-29-2011 01:06
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Now completely convinced that Lady-Man GaGa is a dude..
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08-29-2011 01:00
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Just watched the MTV VMA's. Was it just me or did Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars look like brothers?
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08-29-2011 00:40 by ScuzDog
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Lady GaGa looked like Ralph Machio from Karate Kid on the VMA's tonight
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08-29-2011 00:27
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i think jay z and beyonce child is gonna be the anti christ... i'm just saying
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08-29-2011 00:18 by kelly
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If abortion is Murder, does that make condoms kidnapping?
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08-28-2011 23:48 by N.R.S
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convinced God made mosquitos and flies just to watch us slap ourselves

A teacher told me about a growing trend in the younger grades: banning erasers from class, so kids don't have to feel like they're wrong.
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08-28-2011 21:17
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