love Funny Status Messages

   I always try to see my relatives with love and affection during the Holidays. When I can't I try to see if there is more Bourbon available.

   I wish someone loved me as much as white women in commercials love yogurt

   People who say marriage is only between a man and a woman underestimate my love for pizza.

   I love Instagram's new direct messaging feature because I've always thought, "If only this picture of someone's dinner was just for me."

   I can't decided if I'd rather see him naked or on fire. Is that love?

   America, where mediocrity reigns supreme. How else do you explain "our" love affair with The Kardashians, Family Guy, and Dr. Oz?

   I like you. But I don't "let you out of my basement" like you. Hah because I love you.

   Love means never having to say you're sorry. But only if the relationship you're in is imaginary.

   Real men who care for, cherish and love a woman faithfully, deserve the butthole at least once..

   I just love Cinemax late at night , don't you?

   Call her Princess. B*tches love being addressed as royalty.

   No matter how hard life gets just remember there are always people out there who love you, if you pay them enough.

   If you love your farts you have to let them go.

   Women love being cuddled while they sleep, except for when they don't know who you are, apparently.

   You don’t have to be drunk to love me, but it helps

   I love following women who write inspirational tweets because, you know...chubby girls.

   You knowlife sucks when you can hear the girl you love moaning in the room next door where your bestfriend is...

   If you can't open that bottle of pickles for your girl like a real man then just smash it over your face and look crazy B*tches love crazy

   I love it when someone takes a good joke and make it even better. Keep it up guys.

   I go from love to restraining order in one marriage.