Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   the new layout on facebook has me more confused than a baby in a strip club....wtf?

   Yeah, keep complaining about the new Facebook. Unless you PAY FOR IT, I don't think any of us have the room to complain.

   @ Justice -- executiion was delayed. Just because everyone said he "did it" doesn't mean he did.

   at 11:08 pm. Troy Davis got what he had coming for the last 20 years. Jury said he did it. Court of Appeals said he did it. Federal Judge said he did it. Supreme Court Said he did it.

   *Phew* "Thank God I'm White" -Casey Anthony When She Read The Troy Davis Story

   I'll bet Facebook made all those changes because they think we're black

   Facebook is like a spouse: when you think you have it all figured out, it completely changes

   Facebook is like women: when you think you have it all figured out, it completely changes.

   Facebook has made changes, yes. Some good and bad but after all this still no {DISLIKE} button.......sh!t

   confuse why Mr R had to bring out the solider card on the site because people complaining bout FB my bro law over in Iraq complaining about the new FB shut the eff up haha

   as "Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract" (WINE), "Radioactive UnWORK Medicine"(RUM), "Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter"(BEER) or "Vaccine Official Depression Killing Antigen"(VODKA). Please re-post to raise awareness."

   A highly dangerous virus called "Weekly Overload Recreational Killer" (WORK) is currently going around. If you come in contact with this WORK virus, you should immediately go to the nearest "Biological Anxiety Relief" (BAR) center to take antidotes known

   confused by all the people I've seen today complaining about of all things FACEBOOK...if this is your biggest problem today I'm sure thousands of soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan would gladly take your problem over what they're dealing with.

   DEAR FACEBOOK I understand the need to change w/ the times but too much too fast. if you keep myspace-ing we are all gonna google the hell out of here.

   I'm about to rewrite history. History.

   Hey Facebook, Now look what you have done, You've invented "MYSPACE".

   I don't remember if the toilet water was blue or not before I sat down, so there's a chance I'm magical.

   Every time I see a girl I went to college with, I ask her if we had sex and we laugh and laugh and laugh and then I welcome her to Walmart.

   I'm pretty sure Whoopi Goldberg is Lil Wayne's real mother..

   That mini heart attack when you can't feel your phone in your pocket!