Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 440 of 6383
I definitely didn't stockpile enough hot sauce.
Virus Tip - If you run out of toilet paper, just spray Pam between your butt cheeks and poop won't stick. Don't ask how I know this...
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03-21-2020 14:41 by Gabe
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I am going through a lot of toilet paper and kleenex in self-isolation .. . I get it now.
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03-21-2020 12:49
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Ruby can finally take her love to town... guilt free.
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03-21-2020 12:48
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If you're low on TP, just take a bunch of anti-diarrhea medicine. Problem solved!
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03-21-2020 10:47
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Question of the day: If you could stop this virus and save everyone or have Bill Gates money, what color would your Lamborghini be?
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03-21-2020 09:18 by Rickster
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The first person to make a Kenny Roger's Roasters cremation joke is gonna get a swift... never mind. It's me.
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03-21-2020 07:40
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I have a hug for whoever needs one....um I mean virtual hug as I'm practice the 6 foot rule.
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03-21-2020 07:36
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“Ask not what staying home on the couch can do for you, but what staying home on the couch can do for your country.”
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03-21-2020 07:11
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ALL STREAMING SERVICES SHOULD BE FREE AT THIS TIME!
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03-21-2020 05:56
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Yall remember when in 2013 Obama shut down the government... Welp in 2020 Trump shut down the whole USA
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03-21-2020 05:43
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If the TV news only showed him when he told the truth, he would never be on TV.
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03-21-2020 01:45
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No wonder Italy is feeling the worst of the Coronavirus. They're all out on their balconies singing two feet away from each other.
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03-20-2020 22:06
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I don’t mean to brag,. But I closed down a few bars back in the day without the Governors approval,.
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03-20-2020 19:57
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Every disaster movie starts with the government ignoring a scientist.
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03-20-2020 19:41
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Socialism bad, unless I need it. Love Trump supporters.
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03-20-2020 19:06
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Just think of all the things making big money during this. Netflix!, Disney+, Pornhub.
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03-20-2020 19:05 by Vaterpop
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Walmart just announced that they'll be hiring a hundred thousand new workers and now with any luck maybe they'll open at least more then 2 of their 27 registers.
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03-20-2020 15:13
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Hello Hello Hello Is there anybody out there? Just nod if you can hear me, is there anyone at home?....Oh wait I forgot everyone's home, never nevermind.
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03-20-2020 14:16
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Which fast food place has the softest napkins? Asking for a friend.
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03-20-2020 13:36
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