Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 429 of 6383
I wish they could talk about something besides the Coronavirus like the world just stopped. Oh wait it did.
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04-03-2020 23:38
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How is everyone enjoying their free 30 day trial of communism ?
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04-03-2020 22:14
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Someone want to send Apple an email and let them know we need an iWatch software update...they don't need to keep telling me I need to stand up.. We need an "ignore, i'm in the middle of a quarantine" button.
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04-03-2020 17:51 by RobS
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The buttons on my clothes are starting to social distance themselves from each other...
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04-03-2020 17:49 by eengrms
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See below: Are you people that dumb!? Now I know why we're in the predicament we are in.
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04-03-2020 17:15
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New Deluxe never used 2020 planner - super cheap!
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04-03-2020 15:49 by Smeebert
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The pollen is so bad this year that the druggies are turning their crystal meth back into Sudafed.
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04-03-2020 14:41
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Living in a time when '3 squares' means more than just food.
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04-03-2020 12:51
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When this is over.. What meeting will you need to attend first.. Weight watchers or AA ?
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04-03-2020 10:02
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Having some states locked down and others not, is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.
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04-03-2020 08:02
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If Hugh Hefner ran a company wearing pajamas so can you.
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04-03-2020 07:24
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Germans are going to be hit with large fines if they invade someone else's space! 80 years too late if you ask me?
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04-03-2020 07:20 by Truman
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If you don't have your Florida ID with you on voting day, you can always show them a photo of yourself wearing a tank top to a funeral.
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04-03-2020 07:13 by Truman
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I've been working a side hustle delivering for restaurants and so far as I can tell, those X-rated movies are bull crap.
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04-02-2020 20:30
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I haven’t wanted to drink an ice cold beer this bad in a bar since I was underage.
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04-02-2020 19:53 by Morm
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Grown ass men on Facebook playing Eye spy..Really?..Well when you're done playing that, maybe you can pull out your childhood easy bake oven, and make us all some cupcakes.
Tomorrow is the National Homeschool Tornado Drill. Lock your kids in the basement until you give the all clear.
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04-02-2020 15:18
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With this corona virus thing, just heard that infidelity is down 99.9%
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04-02-2020 13:31
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On the bright side, at least we found a way to stop mass shooting in schools, offices, malls and concerts.
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04-02-2020 12:58
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Now all of a sudden having a mask, rubber gloves, duct tape, a gallon of bleach and plastic sheeting in the trunk of my car is okay.