Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 408 of 6383
Taylor Swift and Adele are basically the same age. Mind blown!
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04-29-2020 14:33 by Rickster
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If CN N told you the only cure of covid-19 is to jump off a bridge. Which bridge are yall going to choose...
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04-29-2020 13:35 by Cyndi
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Maybe my New Year's resolution to hang out with more than three of my Facebook friends in 2020 was asking for too much?
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04-29-2020 13:22 by Moon
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A Man's Take On Marriage: An arrangement where you're owned by someone else, yet don't actually own anything yourself.
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04-29-2020 12:41
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I know that people want to go back to work because they're broke, but there's still a serious virus floating around. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that being broke is better than being dead.
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04-29-2020 11:53 by Fazzy
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the crows and the ducks are having a turf war in my backyard it’s like the squawkiest version of west side story ever
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04-29-2020 08:17
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Social distancing requires a good supply of air horns.
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04-29-2020 08:16
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There is no such thing as a stupid question except maybe "Isn't it really about time you IRS guys audited my return?"
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04-29-2020 07:39
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If you take the 'I' out of 'Illness' and replace it with 'We', then you get 'Wellness'
Canada doesn't allow polygamy ,so I got me a wife with Multiple personalities .
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04-29-2020 00:48
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If you are throwing a football, a baseball or kicking a soccer ball in a park, you need to be more than six feet apart. If you aren't, you're in big trouble because you really suck at your sport.
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04-28-2020 21:02
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If a fart can go through underwear and a pair of jeans, how can a mask made of cloth save you from Covid? Asking for a friend...
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04-28-2020 19:07
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I don’t think we can get through adulthood without a good sense of humor and a strong middle finger
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04-28-2020 14:59 by GeorgeT
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Hey I got a novel idea, if it takes 14 days Coronavirus to start showing symptoms how about we all stay at home for 14 days!
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04-28-2020 09:27
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With all this quarantining the earth is cleaning up! Let's keep it that way. Remember, the earth isn't Uranus!
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04-28-2020 08:06
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I really hope the post office finds my $200 package from eBay & that someone didn’t actually steal it off my porch.
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04-28-2020 02:57
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The law doesn't allow polygamy ,so I got me a wife with Multiple personalities .
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04-27-2020 22:00
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The 11th Commandment:...Thou shalt not covid thy neighbor
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04-27-2020 19:06
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Pro Tip: Add some chicken bones and bay leaves to canned soup and everyone will think you made it.
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04-27-2020 15:34
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Pro Tip: If you don’t have a mask, wearing a jock strap on your face tends to keep people at least 6 feet away from you.
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04-27-2020 15:31
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