Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Im pretty sure the Mayans' calendar is wrong, I mean they DISAPPEARED a thousand years ago.

   Gentlemen Never forget that a girl is your friend only until she finds a boyfriend.

   New Year Resolutions are silly to me. If you're not on the right path already, the change of a new year won't help. Its just another day, just a different number.

   Y2K EVERYONE! Y2K! Oh wait that was 12 years ago...

   That sad moment when it´s already new year in Portugal and everybody in my country and all around the all are partying really hard and I´m in home. In ther internet. Sadness. Fap time.

   Happy New Year everybody! I know its a bit early but I often suffer from premature congratulations!. :(

   its time to shuffle the deck and throw out all the jokers.

   I got a fresh loaf of bread now I'm ready for my new years toast.

   bringing my pet Mogwai with me to a New Years Eve party.

   BREAKING NEWS: Apple has announced that there will be no 2012, only 2011S.

   ...... OMG ...... forget about worrying about the end of the Mayan Calendar on 12-21-2012!!!! ..... I just noticed that my Staples Calendar ends TONITE!!!!! ........ YIKES!!!!

   I was standing in front of the mirror eariler, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge. :(

   froget the world ending in 2012 , my inspection sticker ends in 2012!!

   Don't worry there are plenty other fish in the sea. None as attractive as the one that just dumped you but plenty other fish!

   my 2012 new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.

   That Sinking Feeling: Facebook has worked very hard at making its new Timeline Profiles look like MySpace.

   Those awkward car rides with people you barely know.

   The reviews are in... And Yes, I am awesome

   Since the world is going to end next December instead of saying happy new year, I'm going to say happy last year! 

   Rihanna says chains and whips excite her, I doubt her ancestors felt the same way.