Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I read somewhere that being sarcastic on a daily basis can add up to three years to your life. If that's true, I'm gonna live forever.

   I have a love/hate relationship with Daylight Saving Time. I love it in the evening, but I hate it in the morning.

   I'm all for gay rights. I wish Donald Trump and JD Vance the best. Now we wait for the video of Putin joining them for a three-way, recorded by Elon. A four-way circle jerk if you will.

   Look at all the pitiful haters out there making gay jokes about me as though it were some sort of insult. I thought you supported gay rights? But now it's supposed to be a negative thing? LOL

   I'M GOING TO NEED ELON MUSK TO SEND ME A LIST OF FIVE REASONS WHY HIS PATHETIC ROCKET FAILED FOR THE 8TH TIME

   Don't quote me on this, but I would not be surprised if Trump and Putin have shared a sexual encounter in the past. Even just a mutual hand job. It's so obvious.

   TRUMP WAS HANDED AN AWESOME ECONOMY. THE BEST, BY FAR, POST-COVID ECONOMY OF ANY INDUSTRIALIZED NATION. HE WAS HANDED AN ECONOMY WITH EMPLOYMENT WAY UP, CONSUMER SPENDING WAY UP, THE MARKETS WAY UP, AND INFLATION WAY DOWN. AND NOW IT'S RUINED. OH WELL.

   "TRUMP WAS HANDED AN AWESOME ECONOMY. THE BEST, BY FAR, POST-COVID ECONOMY OF ANY INDUSTRIALIZED NATION. HE WAS HANDED AN ECONOMY WITH EMPLOYMENT WAY UP, CONSUMER SPENDING WAY UP, THE MARKETS WAY UP, AND INFLATION WAY DOWN. And in seven weeks ruined i

   JD Vance looks like a pedophile Care-Bear.

   Zelensky was the only person sitting in that Oval office not wearing make up LMAO

   It's so strange to think before Facebook, all this nonsense just stayed in people's heads.

   Newsflash to all the haters out there trying to hate on me: I'm not going anywhere!

   Dman does his father's asshole.

   Dman is a Dbag

   Dman is a tranny

   GaryKoenig needs to seriously go f**k himself

   Trans people need help.

   Remember when teachers used to say, "You won't have a calculator everywhere you go". Well, we showed them.

   The vast, vast majority of people on the planet recognize what a piece of human garbage he is. When are you going to wake up?

   I moved the clock up an hour before I went to bed last night and when I got up this morning it was still 1943