l Funny Status Messages

   Im the guys she marrys, your the guy she only loves in a handicapped bathroom.

   if you use the word "chillaxin" your automatically a cornball in my book.

   after you break down in a car you feel so violated, you don't even want the car no more.

   I only knew one LA Clipper fan before this season and he used to get made fun of everyday for it.

   you know your cooking sucks when you gotta post todays menu on facebook for it to be appreciated.

   What's the difference between weather and climate? You can't weather a tree, but you can climate.

   Ladies stop wearing them pajama pants and them dirty Uggs!!

   I could post the funniest status ever and I'll still get at least one dislike. Hi hater!

   I got a fresh loaf of bread now I'm ready for my new years toast.

   froget the world ending in 2012 , my inspection sticker ends in 2012!!

   2012: get rich or die Mayan!

   money is the root of all evil I thought But when I'm broke is usually when I have the evilest thoughts.

   "never on schedule, but always on Facebook."

   Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.

   monday - friday , we work. saturday - sunday they party I'm still @ work. they sleep I'm dreaming!

   Im 98% black the other 2% is milk.

   "im gonna have to steal this" my number one "compliment"

   Death is at the NBA's door and Stern just invited it in for a cup of tea.

   Like this status Ladies and I'll take you to see the Muppets Movie.

   It don't matter if I'm single, complicated, engaged, married or divorced. My friends always like my status!