ff1241 Funny Status Messages

   Just like a baby I like to drink my dinner from a bottle.

   If you turn down the car radio, hang up the cell phone and remove you head from your ass you might just notice the emergence vehicle with it's emergency lights flashing and siren blaring trying to get a destination that's more important than yours.

   Have you ever done something so stupid that you blamed it on being drunk when you were totally sober just so you looked like less of a dumb ass.

   Found out yesterday that apparently saying I have dyslexia is not a good excuse for driving 51 in a 15 mph school zone.

   I just wanna be friends to but with just your va jj.

   NOTE: The term "Proper Sense" has now replaced the term "Common Sense" because Common Sense is NOT so common anymore!

   The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.

   Sometimes I need to recheck my facebook account to remember what I did this past weekend. 

   The problems with heroes is that most of them are buried too soon befor they have a chance to become old men.

   having a staring contest with a bottle of Jack.

   The term weekend could have a whole new meaning tomorrow.

   Why do I knowingly pick the bad choices in life. I know I'm going to pay for it in the end but it sure looks like its going to be fun in the mean time

   Zombie squirrels will feast on your nuts.

   it safe for white folks to say the n word while doing karaoke ?

   not sure why any man would be in a polygamist relationship just increases the odds of having a psycho ex wife.

   This whole being a responsible adult thing sucks.

   I would really hate to be a politician...mostly because I couldn't say "fock you, a55hole" any time that I felt like it. :)

   and took him out. This is NOT an Obama victory, but an AMERICAN victory!!

   I can't believe I'm eagerly waiting to hear Obama speak and tell me something other than his resignation.

   We fought wars so we wouldn't care about royal weddings.